Let's Hear It For The Boys! Page 4

By StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 501 Aired 5-22-05

Ben and Michael are at someone’s house, drinking something, and talking about… someone. Who are these people? When did Mikey and Ben get other friends? Anyhow, one man is talking in some weird accent about his son (Devin) who he put down in bed. It turns out that this man and his partner, Monte both have kids by the same woman because they wanted their kids to be related. A black man comes in who looks a bit like Dubay from Oz, but I’m guessing is the ‘Monte’ in question. He says in an even stupider accent that he had to sing Under the Sea six times to get Andeen to sleep. Since he referenced one of the best animated Disney films ever, I give this couple exactly 2 pts, but then I take one away because they named their kid Andeen.
B&M call Jenny Rebecca “JR” which leads me to believe that she will supposedly get shot sometime this season. Not that QAF would ever steal some other show’s storylines, they would never do that!
Eli and Monte sing the praises of their neighborhood and Michael comments that when he was young, the neighborhood was deemed too unsafe to even play in. Monte says that since the gays came in a cleaned it up it has never been safer and real estate prices have soared.
Somewhere Jack McFarland and Will Truman show up in a dark neighborhood in Pittsboronto.

Will: Are you sure this is the place?
Jack: I’m positive. The brochure said, “Come see Torontosburgh’s new gay communities.
Will: Torontosburgh? Jack, this is Pittsboronto!
Jack: UH OH!

The entire point of this scene filled with people we’ve never seen before and plots that we have is to see if Ben and Michael had ever thought about moving. As they walk through noisy, RuPaul gay town, quiet Ryan Seacrest gay town seems more and more pleasant. Ben really wants to move and Michael says he doesn’t, but if Dr. Dave can get Mikey to move across the country, I’m sure Ben can make him go across town.


Gay Gym
This is the scene I saw on the Showtime website. We learn that due in part to the awkward interaction between him, Horvath and Deb, Emmett wants to move out and Ted is getting larger. Somewhere Leon sucks his teeth, “It’s been done”. Emmett points out Ted’s expanding girth with some co-signing by Brian. Ted insists that he’s not getting fat he’s bulking up. He lost a lot of weight after the liberty ride and the whole crystal meth addiction thing and is Emmett’s head getting bigger? Like physically, it looks huge from this angle. Where were we? Oh yeah, Ted. Sigh. Some little twink strolls by and gives Ted THE LOOK OF HOMOSEXUAL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Ted takes this as a sign that he’s still smokin’ hot and goes over to check it out.
Emmett remarks that he never knew you could catch a Twinky by stuffing it in your mouth. Jerrod and I assumed this is how it was always done but I guess that’s more of a regional thing.
Emmett takes his leave and Random Muscle Extra takes over the machine, but never seems to actually work out. Maybe he has performance anxiety? Mikey comes by and Brian asks if he want to play Where’s Waldo in the steam room, but Mikey can’t because movie producer Brett is calling to get some input on Rage dialogue.
Brian offers up, “Zowie Zephyr, check out that super cock.” And I know the times, they are a-changing, but what world are they making this movie in? Because for the first movie ever of it’s kind, it’s wayyy extreme and who would green light that? I’m not even speaking of the gay thing as much as the gratuitous sex and cussing and offending the conservatives part of it. And that’s even besides the fact that it’s a stupid movie. It’s just a disaster waiting to happen and I know the show is trying to be groundbreaking and edgy, but they are catering to a certain audience. Would Queer As Folk the movie ever get made? And if so would it make money? Just something I think about.
Mikey asks if Brian shouldn’t be getting ready for his trip and Brian informs him that he won’t be going. Brian decides not to surprise Justin and have that be the surprise, but it’s really not at all. Gosh, can you imagine a Brian Kinney surprise party? You would go home one night and he’d be making out with some guy on your couch and you’d be all, “What’s up Bri? What are you doing here?” and he’d be like, “I was going to surprise you with a party but I decided not to… Surprise.” Brian’s lucky he’s so hot.

We move to storyboard world and introduce Rage’s arch nemesis Rev. Swineheart (do you see what I mean? Not only will that offend conservatives, but it’s also dumb as bricks! It’s a double insult.) preaching evil and what not and Rage is in the basement of the church suspended over fire in Hot Leather Restraints because far be it from the writers to leave the S&M freaks wanting. While I’m not too enthralled about the content of this scene, I’m loving the look of it. The storyboard with all the side directions… cute. They cut to Justin in Los Angeles, New Zealand “Where the Sun Never Sets” and well done art dept! You’re really doing wonders with this ep.
Justin is working at a company called XTC, and yeah. If they want us to believe any of this storyline then I’m going to need them to change that. I won’t even make mention of it if they do. I’ll just pretend that it always was. Some chick (we’ll call her Raggedy Ann) walks in and says, “Mr. Keller wants the storyboards now, now, now.” Justin’s hurrying as fast as he can and asks Raggedy Ann to say a prayer for his hand. That was actually a nice, subtle nod to season 2 and like, do they have two sets of writers for this show? Brett walks in and looks really different. That’s Brett right? His hair is annoyingly foppish and his shirt/t-shirt combination clashes and sucks all at the same time. He tells Justin that they just signed someone to play Rage, and who is that someone? Well, none other than Hollywood SUPERSTAR: Conner. Yeah. This guy. I couldn’t stand him (though I barely remember why) last season and I know I can’t stand him now. He’s just so skeevy looking.

Mike and Ben’s Bumpin’ Bordello
Emmett is wearing a lovely teal sweater. It has one of those necks that if you buttoned it up it would go over your head, but it looks very nice draped over your shoulder.

Jerrod: Is that a girl’s sweater?
SK: That’s an Emmett sweater.

And it is. Beautiful Ben comes in to make some subtle observances about the stature of their crappy apartment and it’s iniquitous neighborhood. And you know you could have said all this before we renewed the lease Ben sweetie, just saying. Mike lists more reasons that Ben doesn’t like the place, but Emmett sees these as benefits and suggests maybe moving back. Michael is firm though and says he’s not moving. Which means that we have to deal with this until the end of ep when he finally caves, and you know he will.
Ben has opened the door and is making commentary on the debauchery in the hall, “Back in my day we played our 8 tracks at normal levels and made sure we drank our Ovaltine and respected our elders,” and what not. Emmett barely notices as he takes his leave to take some numbers. Who knew Em was a mathematician?

Brian and Mike are going shopping to help Brian spend his moolah and Brian is wearing a very interesting black, double-breasted pea coat. While I normally hate anything double-breasted on anyone who’s not Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, I have to admit it really works on him. Good job wardrobe, now go work on Brett. Mikey tells Brian about Ben wanting to move to the new gay couples area and Brian tells Mikey that they’ll become Stepford Fags. Although that’s pretty humorous, I’m shocked and amazed that they didn’t say Desperate Housefags. Just because it’s so something they would do. Anyhow, there’s some fairly “boring, but it’s Bri/Mi so I’ll take it,” dialogue going on about Mel and Lins and sucking cock and eating pussy and Brian wants a motorcycle, but he doesn’t want to talk about that right now because Justin is going to abandon him for some Hollywood, New Zealand hottie.
No really, that’s how it happened, just trust me.
And Zowie Zephyr get a load of that! It seems that we’ve cut to a scene of Justin enjoying his already profitable share in the back end from Conner, and you know, there’s something about a heart-felt sympathy scene interplayed with a hard core sex scene that just gets me all misty… in both places. It worked in The Best Man, and it works here. We get a little glimpse of Justin bush which is oddly unsettling and my goodness this scene is hott, and sad. We cut back to Brian looking heart broken. Darn you QAF! You toy with the two things that mean the most to me, my sexual perversions and my heart.

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