Let’s All Stop Thinking of Ourselves: QAF Recap 505 06-12-05 Page 1

and start thinking about the baby!
by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 505 Aired 06-12-05

Previously on QAF:

Hunter hits his head at the pool and gets a bad case of hateration from Callie’s parents. Michael was granted one-third custody of JR, but lost 100% of crime fighter booty potential by forgetting to show up at Babylon for Hard Heroes night. Rosietta tells Deb that she loves her. Ted gets snipped and clipped, and Emmett is relegated to the role of sidekick.

Credits: I know, I know, but I don’t care! GET IT BEN!

The Road to Babylon
is paved with boys, boys, boys just itching to get into the newly reformed club. Justin casually walks in, again wearing the awesome white leather jacket with the blue and black stripes. He strolls into the club and we pan up to the balcony where we see some admirers sizing up our Channel 5 Queer Guy “You could make me over anytime you want. Top to bottom, or bottom to top.” This is only funny to me because the kid looks like a cross between Kyan Douglas and Ryan Reynolds, either of which I could imagine in this role. Except Kyan would try to give you highlights and Crest Whitening strips, and Ryan would try to find out if you have a sister, because he’s totally NOT GAY.

Kryan takes his leave and Emmett tells him he’ll keep his offer in mind. Justin strolls up and tells Emmett that he’s Mr. Popular. Emmett says that it’s amazing what being in television can do, but suspects that Justin is looking for the other Mr. Popular. Justin puts his hand on Emmett’s in a really cute way and tells Em that Brian said he had a surprise for Justin. Emmett says that if it doesn’t have a tight butt and 9 inches he’d be surprised. Me too. He then directs Justin to the newly opened VIP lounge, which is basically, "The Back Room of Sex Except Now It’s Upstairs" lounge. Yeah, I like the name VIP too. I really enjoy the banter between Justin and Em here; it’s like they're catty little friends. I wonder what a spin-off featuring those two would entail?

This entire scene, there are two guys necking like crazy in the background. For their sake and the sake of their lips I hope they were able to get this scene in one take. There’s some guy standing beside Em that I absentmindedly thought was Ted, but then the camera followed Justin and I saw this guy put his hand on another guy’s shoulder which is so not a Ted thing to do. Remember when Ted briefly got into S&M? That kid will do anything for a lay, poor baby. And let’s not forget about the baby.

Justin goes into the VIP lounge and passes a bouncer who says, “Welcome Mr. Taylor.” So does Justin realize he’s a trophy wife? He doesn’t work, he’s there just to look good and have sex, and spend his lover’s money. I want to be Justin sooo bad. Justin enters the room and is greeted by the most desperate sounding grunts. I know it’s supposed to be sexy, but it’s a little gross. Brian's smoking a joint, and Iit reminds me of something I read that said Gale Harold is a total pothead. I believe it. He asks Justin what he thinks of the place and Justin says that as usual Brian has impeccable taste. I have to agree with him here, Bryan does have a knack for coordinating the carpet with the drapes, if you know what I mean! Brian starts talking endlessly -and you know how I feel about that- and signals for some guys to come over. They take off Justin’s clothes, but Justin looks a little sad until he sees Anwar who apparently didn’t sign the release form because we only see his dreads, and then nothing at all. Justin and Brian share a little kiss, and then a little booty.


Baby, Baby, Who Has the Baby?!
This is a rather nice little progression scene as we watch the three parents participate in their new custody arrangement. We start with Melanie looking pissed but hott and giving the baby over to Michael who accepts her lovingly. Then we move to Michael being upset and handing the baby off to Linds who I swear is looking more and more like Michael “Let’s Hear It For the Boys” Jackson everyday. We don’t see Linds’ reaction as she passes JR to Melanie, but we do see JR’s as she gets increasingly irritated with every hand off. How long do they each have JR before they have to pass her? It just seems like a hassle to me, it’s important to note that the baby cries hardest when passed off to Linds and her hair. Well, not really important, as much as it is funny. Heh.

We end up with a shot of JR, and Michael and Ben are apparently dropping Hunter off at school which I guess begins at 11:30am? I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’ve learned not to ask too much anymore. Ben is wearing a delicious chocolate brown leather coat. I can’t think of the style right now, but it has that western cut and it’s waist length. He’s paired it with sumptuous black leather gloves and a worn-just-enough style black leather messenger bag. I don’t know who’s supplying Justin, Mel, and Ben with all this leather, but keep it coming! I hope PETA doesn’t throw paint on you! Ben is gorgeous as he asks Hunter (who’s behind them on a bike) whether or not he’ll be coming home after school. “No, I thought I’d join the Cirque du Soleil.” Hunter deadpans. He should go to Babylon, I hear they’re taking applications. Michael calls him a smart-ass, and Hunter replies with, “Where the hell else would I be going?” Ha! I’m sorry, but something about the delivery of that line cracked me up. It turns out Hunter (and God I hate that name) was politely told that it would be in everyone’s best interest if he were no longer on the swim team. Michael asks if there are any other extracurricular activities Hunter could participate in. Hunter starts on some thing about chess, but I’m distracted by Ben. They’ve turned a corner and we see Ben sporting some tight blue jeans. I think he has something in his pocket, but he might just be happy to see me. My goodness that man is gorgeous, have I already said that? Sorry, moving on.

Michael tells Hunter to cut out the sarcasm and Hunter tells Michael to cut it out with his fucking helpful suggestions. You know in Lost, whenever two of the boys would fight (mostly Jack and Sawyer) Kate would run in and be all, “Hey you guys! Come on!” and suddenly peace was restored? Well Ben tries to “Kate” the situation with an, “okay you two!” but fails. I think it’s because he’s missing three vital things: a pensive stare, a criminal record (for killing a man… he loved), and the ability to annoy just by opening his mouth. Anyway, Michael tells Hunter that he can stay pissed and bitter, or he can forget about it and move on. Well ain’t that the pot calling the kettle a whiny bitch? We see Brian’s car drive up and I have a million questions about that involving location and reasoning, but not enough energy to even ask. Yet. Ben tells Hunter that it’s the school’s loss, not his, and Hunter is sure that they’re crying over it. I like the way Ben does this because it’s subtle and you can tell that it’s something that he wants to be kept between him and Hunter only. Bobby Gant really does it in the subtle dept this ep. It’s nice to see.

Our boys finally notice Brian pulling up as he stops and rolls down the window. “Welcome to My Two Dads!” he says as Michael gives a little wave. It’s really cute because Hunter just looks annoyed (I don’t even think he really knows who Brian is), Michael looks a little hopeful, and I can’t tell if Ben is laughing, or he’s doing the “ha ha you’re sooo funny” face. Brian gives Hunter the old “hey Champ!” to which Hunter replies, “Fuck You.” Sticky Keys says “Gaaawwwwddd DANG!!” and dies from laughter. This is where I began to fall a little in love with Hunter. I think it’s mostly because Justin was around this age when he became infatuated with Brian and Hunter’s all, “whatever you fucking prick!” Stirs my gravy, that boy. Brian thinks that maybe being straight doesn’t agree with the lad, and yeah, because that’s the only possible reason he could have for not liking you. Prick. Ben turns down Brian’s offer for a ride to class and decides instead to take the bus. Yeah, “class”, I guess Ben has some sleeping at the library to catch up on. When is he going to tell Michael he doesn’t have a job? They have a house and a baby to think of! And it’s time that they stop thinking about themselves and start thinking about the baby. Don’t forget about the baby!

At first I did though -forget about the baby- because when Brian gets out of his car and looks down, he pokes at something and says “Gucci Gucci, or Prada Prada”. It’s really very cute, and Michael laughs so I thought Brian was doing it to him, but on review I see he’s doing it to JR. Man, I really need to start thinking about that baby. Anyhoo, I hate Brian’s car. It looks dirty, I’m not sure why, but it’s butt ugly and green. The shape is wicked awesome, but the execution is just not Kinney-worthy.

Brian towers over Michael and asks where he was. Michael has no idea what Brian is talking about until Brian reminds him about superhero night at Babylon. Who told Gale Harold that he could deliver lines? Man, four years of listening to him really takes its toll sometimes. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the man to death and back, but I love him in witty comebacks and sarcastic phrases. Michael blames JR for his absence, and Brian tells him that when he and Ben are through breast feeding, they should swing by. See? That’s the Brian I love, short and to the point. Brian gets in his car and Michael looks at him cautiously.

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