A Very Special Episode of Queer As Folk: QAF 510 07-17-05 Page 1

By StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 510 Aired 07-17-05

First of all, bit shout out to ghanst and ultraviolet for the props! I'm glad you enjoy reading!

Previously on QAF:

Mikey’s store gets broken into

Drew comes out then gets suspended

Justin gets hit on by Creepy McCuntcritic (not a critic of cunts, just a critic that is a cunt)

Mrs & Mrs. MeLinds gets rough and stuff with their puffy puffs (oh what a tangled web we weave… I’m sorry, that was gross)

Deb and Brian get like, totally lifted into the ether man, it’s totally existential and stuff

Mikey don’t play that!

Credits: 1,2,3,4,5,6, Shake it DUDE!

There’s a part where these two hands come from each side of the screen and they kind of meet in the middle and connect from finger to palm in a sliding motion. It reminds me of this movie I saw where every time they greeted each other they did that. It was some sci-fi movie and it’s killing me that I can’t figure it out. 500pts to anyone that can guess it!

A Moment Like This

I’m so dense sometimes! I noticed the Cyndi Lauper poster, but had no idea what it had to do with this first scene (I watched this before the previews for 510… I don’t know how so don’t ask). Anyhow, we open on Mikey and Ben talking about the state of the world. Mikey says that just a while ago they were in Canada getting married, and Ben says that now they’re back home fighting for their rights, then Mikey says something about "that asshole in the White House. Okay. I love how Prop 14 has made them say really stupid stuff and get away with it by blaming the president. Like yeah, it's true, but they got married in Canada, because it's legal there, and not here. That’s like saying, “Just yesterday I went to Canada for prescription drugs, and now here I am, back home, without prescription drugs." I don’t know, it was a stupid sentence. Besides, Prop 14 is not a national measure, it’s a state bill so really Bush has nothing to do with it, but since I’m Democrat for the most part, and would have loved to see the yumminess of JohnxJohn in the White House, I’ll go along… for now.

Anyhoo, I’d like to mention that they are hanging just normal sized flyers, and for some reason Ben is using the most industrial strength mailing tape he could find. It’s rather funny when you hear it over the dialogue, “Thanks to that asshole in the white house...” *scccccrrrrriiiiipppp*, go back and listen, it’s quite hilarious. Ben says something about Michael sounding like Debbie and Michael says that once upon a time he would have given Ben a nice meaty can of STFU, but this time he’s flattered. Then he lays a kissy on my Bobby-kins… uh, I mean, Ben, ahem. You know Hal has got to enjoy that to an extent, they kiss way too much for him not to. I want to see a script and see how many extra kisses Hal worked in. We move over to Deb and Justin where Deb is wondering how anyone can find two men kissing to be an abomination. I wonder the same thing myself sometimes Deb, sigh. Justin correctly identifies that a lot of people do, and then incorrectly claims that most people do, unless he means in the greater Torontosburgh area. Deb says everyone’s wrong including that “asshole in the White House” *sscccccccrrrrriiipppp*. She goes on to say that every time a gay minister is defrocked, or their kids are taken away, it just breaks her heart. We suddenly hear someone on a megaphone talking about protecting family and this leads us into our first melodramatic anvil moment of the episode.

This is instantly how I knew it was going to be a Very Special Episode. You see, one night the writer’s took the Exposition Fairy and the Foreshadowing Fairy out for dinner and margaritas. Someone had ti many martoonis and next thing you know Expo and Foreshadowing were granted script approval. Cowlip gave them one episode to prove their chops and it just happened to be this one, so won’t you come along with me for the dramatic ride of your lives? The Expo Fairy and the Foreshadowing Fairy will be popping up now again to talk about their influence in the certain scenes, as well as the assistant director’s dog walker’s nephew’s son who just happened to walk by the set that day. We’ll call him Timmy.

One man is leaning out of the car with a megaphone imploring people to uphold family values and vote to protect the children. Also thinking of the children is a woman who is perfectly enunciating the words, “Stop the Ho-Mo-Se-Xu-Al agenda!” We get slow very emotional music and I ask The Expo Fairy to elaborate on this,

Expo Fairy: Well you see, I knew that this scene was supposed to be hard hitting, but I really wanted it to get through how emotional it was. Because I didn’t think people would get it. Yeah, the people yelling out of the car with megaphones was a nice touch, but I really wanted to let people know that this was mean of the straights to do this, so I focused on it with long extreme slowmotion shots and loud dramatic music.

Timmy: Uncle Stan said they had a lot of extra film since they didn’t write that many scenes for this ep, and were told to really stretch out as many scenes as he could.

Exposition: Shut up kid!

We get close up pans of our gang's faces as the cars drive by with the same woman holding a sign, then not holding a sign. There is a little placard on the window of one of the cars that reads 1 man + 1 woman = marriage. Creative that.

Foreshadowing: That was my idea!

We end this little sequence with Enuncilady fiercely yelling out the window that Jesus forgives sinners. And I agree he does. I also agree with Deb when she says that Jesus thinks Enuncilady STINKS! Enuncilady turns her head back around and seems to do a little underarm check, but I might have made that up.

I’m Sorry; We Don’t Like Money Here

Ben, Michael, Emmett, and Melanie are in a huge ballroom talking about an upcoming event. Emmett says it will be fabulous if he does say so himself. I guess he’s back on his planning feet which is much more suited for him. I wonder if he ever complains about not being sexy there? Emmett asks how many tickets have been sold and Ben says over 300. Mikey puts on his thinkin’ cap and calculates that at $200 per ticket, they’ve already made $60,000! Mel says that doesn’t even include what they’ll make at the silent auction and Ben says it’s not bad for a night’s work. Mikey gives him this really sweet look and this congratulatory pat on the arm, which is funny because Ben didn’t really do anything. I’ll always love my Brikey, but MiBen has really grown on me this season.

Emmett doesn’t want anyone to forget about him and says that everything will be hunky dory if only he could get Drew to participate. For all of you Johnny-come-latelies, Drew was somehow recently suspended from his football team for being gay with no help from any Human Rights group at all. So he’s kind of down about this whole homosexual agenda thing. Ben says it would be great if he could come, but not for the renewal of self he would experience, but for the publicity. Emmett says that his Aunt Lulu once told him that you can’t get shot for asking, and while I have a story that proves that wrong, I will say that if anyone should have a family centered spin-off it’s Emmett. Just a night of his Hazlehurst shenanigans would be enough for me.

A man walks into the room and Melanie introduces him as Troy Harris, the hotel manager. Ben thanks Troy for giving them such a great deal, but Troy cautions them not to praise him just yet for he has some bad news. Troy says that corporate has decided not to hold the event and when asked why says that it’s privileged information. Ben says that considering they just tanked the event, they deserve the privilege of an explanation. He does this with a little head cock and it makes me notice that whenever Ben gets a little snippy he gets really Valley Girlish. Troy says that there are a couple of large accounts that corporate is afraid of alienating and you know what? I’m going to stop because this is beyond dumb. First of all, corporate isn’t going to have anything to do with your hotel unless it’s losing money and even then they’ll send in a managerial change. Secondly, corporate has nothing to do with local corporate accounts, that's something usually set up through the hotel. Now if these companies put pressure on the hotel, I could see their reluctance, however, what hotel is going to turn down a $10K or more event, not to mention the free publicity.

Also, no corporation is going to pull their business from a hotel bases on one event that's not going to do much harm to the reputation of the hotel. Because for the most part, consumers don't care where the companies employees have their business meetings and conventions. We’ve had Dick Cheney come to visit for the Republican Party, and we’ve had GSA events and never had any of this crap. Besides, hotels cannot afford to be political. They have to be open to everybody because everybody spends money and to deny that would be to deny themselves income. Mel surmises that “corporate” didn’t want the hotel to look gay friendly, and there isn’t a hotel in the world that doesn’t want to look gay-friendly. Especially in the real Pittsburgh! Besides, gay friendly isn’t an issue in terms of turning away corporate sponsors. At least not like this. Now if it were a porn-a-thon I could understand the reluctance, but not something that affects an entire community. The only time there is an exception is if it’s a group of obvious hate, like if the KKK wanted to hold a rally. That would not be in the interests of a hotel to sponsor, but this? Plus Cyndi Lauper? Speaking of which, you don’t cancel on frickin’ Cyndi Lauper! I’m sorry y’all, this scene has got me all riled up. Bottom line, they ain’t havin’ the event. There.

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