A Very Special Episode of Queer As Folk: QAF 510 07-17-05 Page 6

By StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 510 Aired 07-17-05

Our attentions are diverted to Emmett who is standing on the stage beckoning for our attention which we gratefully give him because… Emmett. Baby boy is glitterriffic as he welcomes us to the event. He says that we may know him as the former channel 5 queer guy, but that he’ll always be our queer guy and let me tell you, we couldn’t be happier. Ted finds Ben and Emmett and finally introduces ‘Lewis’ as the guy he met on husbandmaterial.com. I say ‘Lewis’ because CC says Loius, but I hate every variation of that name because if you spell it wrong it’s like a completely different word. There’s Lois (low-is), Louise (loo-ees), and then Louie (loo-ee) amd it all makes me very nauseous so I’m sticking with Lewis. Hope all the Louise’s out there don’t mind. Anyhow, I will point out that adding the whole husbandmaterial.com thing makes this like the weirdest introduction ever. Ben says that it sounds serious, and I laugh because they think he means that since the site is called husband material, they must be serious about each other while I think that Ben thinks it’s dumb that there’s a paid domain name called husbandmaterial.com. Ted goes on to tell Lewis that Ben and Michael got married in Toronto the past year and Michael says that they could be next. Lewis gives the most uncomfortable look ever and we move back to Emmett who is rousing the crowd up to defeat prop 14. It’s funny because he’s got one fist up kind of punctuating his words, and is nodding his head like, “yeah you guys, like, prop 14 totally sucks and junk, and we like totally need to stop it you know?” Oh Emmett. Emmett tells them to let all the hatemongers, and bigots, and the state capitol and the White House know that they will not be silent… unless of course it’s for the silent auction so get your bids in early. Emmett then announces their star attraction, “a girl like most of us who just wants to have fun. The one, the only, Miss Cindy Lauper!” Everyone cheers and I wonder why Daphne isn’t here? They pass by a woman that kind of looked like her (read = wasn’t white) and it made me think that Justin could’ve spotted her a ticket with all his seemingly non-existent Hollywood money. Ahh well.
The curtain opens and we get lights and strobes, and fake stars and men in chains and the crowd goes wild and there’s no Cyndi… yet. They men are dancing around and there’s this treasure chest on the stage. We go to the audience where Jen and Tuck are kissing and Justin is looking uncomfortably, then we head back to the stage where we open the treasure chest and pale, pale Cyndi pops out in a straight jack and head mic. Oh Cyndi.. Cyndy rhythmically makes her way out of the chest and we get another crowd shot of Lewis, Ted and Michael, and they’re all bopping around, but Michael has his hands in the air and is really jamming. It’s totally cute. Cyndi and her backup dancers start to 1-2-step on stage and she shakes her shimmy a little and breaks out of her straight jacket while lip synching, “Shine, I’ll stand by you. Don’t try to push me away, because I’m going to stay!” It’s nice to know that Cyndi will always be by our sides. Lewis is really getting down and it’s not that I don’t like Cyndi because I do, but this is kind of long.

This is where we start our series of events that lead up to the big bang.

Brian is for some reason standing outside somewhere and gets into his chartered car on his way to AU. We see through the reflection in the car window that he was in front of Blockbuster where I assume he was renting the first season’s DVD’s to get him through his trip?

We move to Mel and Linds who are walking down the ally to the club. Mel has on the most pimp jacket I’ve ever seen. It’s like some Aeon Flux type mess, I love it! She’s complaining about Lindsay taking forever to find an outfit and Lindsay says that the sitter was late so not to blame her. Mel says that Linds is always late and Linds says that pretty soon Mel won’t have to worry about that. Dang, okay then. We see some Constantine Maroulis looking motherfella come up and our girl say hi to who is finally shown as Dusty. Wow, that’s a mannish woman right there. Linds thought that Dusty wasn’t coming, but Dusty says she told Marie (her partner) that it was too important for them to miss so Marie stayed at home with the kids. Yeah, things aren’t fairing too well for Dusty. Linds says that she should have done the same since her new sitter was late. Dusty tells them that they could have just dropped them off and I’m not sure why they didn’t do that in the first place, but okay. Dusty suggests they all go in, but then Mel discovers that she left her cell phone in the car. This conveniently puts Mel out of the club, but she tells Linds and Dusty to go in and that makes me worry about Linds. Then Linds says that she’s going to wait for Mel and tells Dusty to go ahead. Yeah, Dusty’s death-o-meter just went off the charts. Dear Lord what’s going to happen?

We move back inside to Cyndi who is still singing and I assume it’s the same song which makes it a super duper long dance remix. Then there comes a part that I completely forgot about in the next few eps so I’m going to bring it to your attention. Lewis asks for some water and Ted turns and asks Michael to get it for him. He says that Lewis is nervous in crowds and he doesn’t want to leave him. Michael agrees and Ted adds a cranberry spritzer to the order. Michael runs off and then we go back to Cundy who is shining. Wow, y’all know I’ve seen the next two eps and there are so many things that are happening that make the next few eps make a little more sense.

Foreshadowing: The Exposition Fairy wanted us to have a sign that said, “Stand here for maximum injusry caused by the bomb”, but I thought that might be a little too dramatic. So I suggested we put some events that are kind of coincidental to make sure that only certain characters got physically affected by the bomb.

Timmy: My uncle said that you had nothing to do with that. That you were actually behind the sign idea and they had to lock you in the closet until you shut up about it.

Foreshadowing: Don’t you have school right now?

Michael sees Dusty at the bar and they exchange hellos. Michael orders the cran spritzer (and kinda funnily excludes the ice water).

Then it happens. There’s a very bright light and Michael turns and looks which means that he’s looking in the direction of the bar. Ted looks back and Ben looks back and their faces become illuminated. There’s a huge boom and we see Deb outside grab onto a building and ask what the fuck was that? We move then to Brian who is in his car where he hears a special announcement on the radio. There was an explosion at Babylon, the local gay club, where a political fundraiser was underway. Police fear there are many injuries, and possibly fatalities. Brian tells the driver to turn around and we move back to the club where there is chaos.

CC says that there is Mixed Yelling and Wailings of Alarm. I think they meant Wailing of Alarm, like a siren, but I like the other way too. There are ambulances and Firetrucks and reporters oh my. I wonder how long it took them to get there because it seems like an awful lot of time has passed since the explosion. Brian arrives on the scene and makes his way through the crowd. He looks around mystified as he sees people being walked out with various degree of injury. There’s a lot of yelling and screaming and just overall hysteria. He sees Jen and Tuck and rushes over to see if they’re alright. Jen has hurt her leg, but tells Brian that Justin is still inside and Brian has to go and find him. Brian rushes inside where everything is blackened. Firemen are using extinguishers to put out the mini fires around the building and are telling everyone to exit the building as quickly as possible. I don’t see why that wasn’t the case to begin with, I can think of several other places I’d like to hang out in than a freshly bombed building. Brian is making his way through the crowd and we see fireman grab him, but then he just lets go. I’m not sure if that was a cut scene, but it’s a little awkward. Brian yells out for Justin but sees Ted and Lewis who are just standing there. Lewis is hacking up a lung and Brian asks Ted what happened and where’s Justin. Ted says he doesn’t know on both accounts and Brian leaves them to continue searching.

We hear someone yell out, “he’s not breathing!” and another asking for help. We see a bloody shoe, a woman being covered by a drop cloth, and a man who’s neck is propped up on the balcony railing. It’s very sad. There’s some creaking and the smoke is finally getting to Brian. He coughs and there’s a mini electrical explosion. In the light Brian sees Justin and grabs him and hugs him. Someone in the background yells, “Please! This thing is burning!”, but Closed Captioning replaces burning with blowing up. Huh. Brian asks Justin if he’s hurt and he says no and then inquires about his mother. Brian tells him that Jen is fine and asked about him. Emmett comes up and says that he’s happy that Sunshine’s okay and he was worried sick. Brian asks if Em’s seen Michael and when Emmett doesn’t answer, Brian cusses and shakes him. Emmett looks scared to death and we head back outside to see more of the pandemonium. Brian is walking towards and ambulance and we see Al Jolson after his performance for the black panther party on a stretcher being loaded in and holy crap that’s Michael! Sweet mother of God! He is completely burnt up and has cuts and blisters all over the top part of his face. Deb is standing by the ambulance begging them to hurry up and Carl assures her that they’re going as fast as they can. Ben says that he’s riding with him and the ambulance driver at first tries to stop him, but Ben informs him that they’re partners and is told to hurry up and get in. I’m slightly surprised that Deb didn’t make a fuss to ride along, but it’s probably for the best. Deb begs Carl to take her to the hospital and we see Mel and Linds standing behind him as he explains that he’s on duty and can’t leave. He says that he’ll get one of the boys to take her, but Brian volunteers instead.

Mel and Linds are absolutely shell shocked by the events and we move to Ted and Lewis who are heading out of the club. It’s interesting that now CC is spelling his name “Lewis”, I guess they got sick of it too. Lewis says that he should have never come and Ted ties to calm him down, but Lewis bolts from the area. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be funny, but I know I laughed. Stupid, stupid Lewis.

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