B-A! B-Y! M-A! M-A!: QAF Recap Ep 503 05-29-05 Page 3

This goes out to Deb, the ultimate Baby Mama!
by Sticky Keys Queer As Folk Episode 503 Aired 5-29-05


MiBen’s Ugly, Yet Rapidly Improving in the Looks Dept… House
We open on Justin who is painting with some very odd strokes. That is going to be one streaky wall, but at least now we know what he does during the day. Justin’s talking and “when I was in LA-ing” and just being generally annoying. MiBen are too happy about their new house to take offense yet, so this scene continues to drag until Ben says,

“We really appreciate the extra hand. Hey, someday when you and Brian get a house, we’ll return the favor.” Riiight. Ben slept with Brian, and he knows Brian, what’s going on with Ben this season? pixelchiq over at the TWoP boards gave these faces of Ben: “'Roid Rage Ben, Overly-sensitive Author/Professor Ben, Self-righteous, Sanctimonious Prick-who's-suddenly-more-wholesome-and-stable-than-Mel-and-Linz-Ben, Doting, Protective Foster Daddy Ben, or the most recent Ben who we may as well call Ben Dover because there's totally NO life left in his character now that he's settled with Mikey.” And I like these assessments a lot because they’ve helped me realize what’s kind of bothered me about Ben. The rest of the characters themselves haven’t really changed much through the years, or if they have, it was a drastic change followed by a quick turn around. We’ve never gotten a full sense of who Ben was. He seems to be more of a glorified extra than an actual character, and he’s the one character that keeps changing to completely fit the story line and I’m not sure if I like that or not.

Justin tells Ben not to run to the paint store at his promise to help Justin and Brian in the future. Ben tells him he never knows what could happen, but instead of staying on that train of thought he immediately remembers that he forgot to carry Michael of the threshold of their house. I would like to live in Ben’s head someday, just to see what he thinks is going on in this new group of his, and how his thoughts come together. And I would like to look that fine for a day too. You know you were thinking the same thing!

Michael stops what he’s doing and is all, “who in the what now?” but Ben looks to Justin for support,

“C’mon! That’s what married people do, right Justin?” Justin is all, “I wouldn’t know you holly jolly asshole.” Well, I added the last part, but that was the mood he said it in. I guess the Exposition Fairy is doubling up on the Ambien this week because I really like the subtle season 3, season 4 nods going on here. You remember Justin was all gung ho to have Brian as his boyfriend but Brian was not having it? Brian was like, “look, either we do other people, or we don’t do each other.” And I loved that because Justin was all, “OK!” It something that cracks me up to this day, how Brian was the one in the wrong, yet he got Justin to come back to him, didn’t have to say I Love You, gets to sleep with other people, and makes Justin think he was the smart guy behind it. That Brian is an ad man!

Michael pretends to try and pick Ben up and it’s very cute, Ben swoops Michael up and a little part of me is soo jealous. I’ll let you guess which part. He carries Michael to the door (swoon), but before he can get to open it, in walks Debbie bearing snacks. She brought cheesesteaks for Justin and Mikey and a veggie sub for Ben. A veggie sub? Do they make veggie subs? Okay. Michael gets all pissy and stomps off into the kitchen. Deb asks what’s up his ass, and Ben tells her to go find out. Deb cutely says she’ll leave that up to him. I like Ben here because he’s staying true to Michael, but he’s being a nice son in law to Deb. And he’s hot. In the kitchen they have the "no doors" see through cupboards thing that with nice complementary dishes is very nice. My dishes at home wouldn’t cut it unless plastic neon Wal-Mart dishes are suddenly in style, but I digress.

After much sarcasm that would have got me popped in the mouth a couple of times, Michael finally tells Deb that he heard about the conversation Deb and Melanie had, and apparently Deb was on Mel’s side. Deb reiterates that the only side she’s on is Jenny Rebecca’s, and really, what kind of side is that? Either you believe the baby belongs with a single lesbian mother, or you believe she’s better off with two gay fathers. Jenny Rebecca’s side (and God I hate that name) is the one where she’ll be changed regularly, fed, bathed, and loved, and she’ll get that regardless. It’s like if someone asks you if you side with the White Sox, or the Cubs, and you say, “The only side I take is the vendor’s! I’m on the vendor’s side!” So in summation, Shut Up Deb!

Deb goes on her “Baby Mama” rant again and ends with, “I’m sorry that I never gave you what you wanted, but I did what I could.” And I hate this because she’s trying to make it seem like she’s thinking about the baby, but in actuality she just wants praise for her work. Praise that she evidently never got. Everything that she says is true of single mothers, but it’s also the reason that two parent homes are in theory, a better idea. I’ve already given her one Shut Up and I’m sure I’ll have to ration for this ep so I’ll let this one slide. Deb slides on out of the kitchen and out the front door.

Kinetic presents Kinetic, a Kinetic Venture
Brian’s in his office (doing what?) when Ted runs in and proclaims Brian to be “the luckiest fuck in the world!” Apparently he’s found Brian a buyer. I knew he was a pusher, it was only a matter of time. Brian is still trying to be coy about his panhandling and asks Ted what he thinks Brian is selling.

“Babylon!” Ted replies as Brian wipes the sweat from his brow. Ted says that they found a buyer that wants to turn it into a galleria and will give him a nice return on his lease. Why didn’t the old buyer try to sell Babylon to the galleria guy? Huh. Brian doesn’t seem too pleased about this, and though Ted tells him he should be relieved, Brian says he wants to turn things around. Brian is staring awfully hard at the screen. For the next secret Santa, someone needs to get him a glare screen.


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