B-A! B-Y! M-A! M-A!: QAF Recap Ep 503 05-29-05 Page 10

This goes out to Deb, the ultimate Baby Mama!
by Sticky Keys Queer As Folk Episode 503 Aired 5-29-05


The Diner Formerly Known as Deb’s
Deb hangs up her apron for the last time and tells some guy in the back that she delivered her last pink plate special. Rosietta runs in and tells Deb that she has to come quick because there’s a disaster at table 3. Deb assures her she can handle it, but Rosietta says she’s never seen anything like this. Deb goes out and is confronted with a gaggle of off key homosexuals singing, “For she’s a jolly good homo!” to her. She smiles and there are two guys holding some banner up the entire time. Why didn’t they just tape it? I would be so angry if I was a hired extra and that were my job!

The singing is horrible and I think Justin is the one that started the song out in the loudest key of suck he could find. That makes me like Justin a little more, I’m not sure why. There’s a black man in the background, nice to see you guy! Someone yells TAKE IT OFF! and cracks me up for days. Deb is very grateful and says now she knows why there’s no gay men’s chorus. The crowd laughs and Ben is smiling and overacting and all, “Heyyyy!!” It’s very cute and Ben is fine so I watch it about 15 more times. Deb tells the boys to behave, be nice to Rosietta, and to put something in the jar on the counter for the Vic Grassi house. You know, I absolutely hated Vic until he moved out of Deb’s house. The very moment I start to love him they go off and kill him and I don’t think I’ll ever fully forgive QAF for that. All the boys are sad and Emmett is starting to tear up. Someone puts on some music (or it could have just been the soundtrack, I couldn’t tell), and Michael shows up with flowers.

Sigh. Let me sum up this scene for you. You were the best mom ever, I love you, I appreciate you, you’re so awesome. The only thing of note about the dialog here is that apparently Michael would have a butter crunch sundae everyday after school while he did his homework and somehow managed not to gain 1000 lbs. On Mikey’s birthday Deb would come to school in her uniform and serve the kids cupcakes and milkshakes. Then she would rob the kids blind by accepting their tips. I don’t know why, but that made me laugh. Just the thought of Deb complaining about the lousy tip Timmy Johnson gave and how she’s going to have a talk with his mother. They hug and forgive each other, and I think it’s interesting to note that this whole time Michael never once recanted on his position of being a better parent for JR. In fact, this whole scene just proved what I was saying about how this had nothing to do with JR, and everything to do with Deb. I don’t think that was intentional, but if it were, this show might be a little more awesome that I already thought it was. Huh.

Kinetic presents the new and improved: Babylon!
From the Thumpa Thumpa of the diner we move to the Thumpa Thumpa of Babylon, which is preparing to open. Brian, Ted, and Justin all toast at the bar and make their way to the front to open the doors. They walk outside and see a line that goes clear down the street and around the corner.

Ted is perplexed, “It’s long, but is it real?” Brian puts an arm around his shoulder, “as the immortal Jeff Stryker says, you bet your ass it is.” Boys file in and one comments that he doesn’t care if the cover is twice as Poppers, he wants in! And that’s why Sticky Keys doesn’t go clubbing, or smoke, or buy herself alcohol, or do drugs. Not for health reasons, but because she’s a cheap money mongering whore who can’t fathom having to pay an entrance fee and having to pay for drinks and drugs. Please. Emmett even had to tip the guy $20 to get in and it’s kind of wrong that they made Emmett pay to get in, but since he was the first dissenter I guess it’s fair. Some guy recognized Emmett as the Queer Guy and tells him he’s fabulous which, while it may be stereotypical, is the absolute best compliment that you can get from a gay guy. It’s like being told that you’re down, or cool by a black person. It’s just nice. Ted asks for a dance from the Queer Guy and they run inside to partay!

Next time on QAF
Michael complains about having to share 1/3rd custody of JR.

Rosietta’s hubbie comes to get her and says, “Let’s go!” Debbie’s 2x4 says, “No!”

Hunter is at a swimming meet and hits his head in the pool causing it to bleed. Some guy shouts out that Hunter has AIDS (I’m guess it’s his ex-girlfriend’s dad from last season since I can’t see how anyone else would know).

Michael and Brian clash more, and it seems Michael doesn’t show up at the club as he promised.

Can’t wait till Sunday! (which I know is tomorrow! I'm going to try to get these out sooner, I promise!)

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