It's Called Create-a-Bear: QAF Recap Ep 502 05-22-05 Page 5

by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 502 Aired 5-22-05

Lins Place
I guess Lins got a furnished apartment because it is packed. Brian and Gus are on the floor playing with toy trains that include a track, some little houses, and Brian commentary on the state of the world. They got it on sale at Hubris-R-Him. Anyhow, Lins wants Brian to talk to Mikey, and here it seems as though Brian is on Mikey’s side. This scene would lead you to believe that Lins has some crazy hold on Brian, which she does, but I think there’s something different going on here. I’ll explain it a little later, but keep Brian’s reactions in this scene in mind.

The Greater Outdoors
Emmett is blow drying Bridezilla’s shirt and I still don’t think they get what happened. I don’t really care about that anymore, what I want to know is what kind of dryer is that that it dried the shirt that quickly? Nice! As they walk down the stairs Emmett relates a Hazlehurst tale involving new white pants, and stolen boysenberry cobbler. It’s quite cute and the end product is his Auntie dyed his white pants purple to match the cobbler and Emmett ended up with a fabulous pair of purple pants that he accessorized with a yellow sweater, and pink scarf. Awww, our lil’ Em, fashion victim from the very beginning. We end with a very long shot of them walking down the aisle. That was odd, but okay.

Poppers
Emmett is dancing and is caught by Brian. He tries to make excuses, but then gives up. Brian is there to size up the competition and really it’s just any other club. Emmett points Brian to some sad old queer trying to be hip and cool and looking so desperate and pathetic and we know it’s Ted and it is. Brian goes to make fun of him, and Ted says he was also checking out the competition in disguise. Right. I tune out of this scene because some little guy comes and starts to unbutton Brian’s pants. This is fascinating to me. Does this really happen in random gay clubs? I know if I tried that it would probably not end well, but with Brian you always get a happy ending and that’s why I love the boy.

Brian Boudoir of Butt Boinking
And it seems that after Brian lost his pants he had to find a place to hide his dick. They show this kind of awkward sex scene and it seems just stiff and sweaty. Meh. The loft door opens and Justin walks in and you know he knows what’s going on, but I can’t quite tell a) when Brian knows he’s there, b) if the guy Brian is boning ever realizes there’s someone else there. Brian smiles this gross orgasm smile and it looks like Justin’s just happy to be home.

Mel’s
JR is bawling her poor little eyes out and driving Mel crazy. Deb comes over to offer some relief. Mel isn’t sure that they should be talking together but Deb doesn’t care about that, she wants to do what’s best for the baby. She tells Mel to get a hot water bottle and put some warm water in it. Basically Deb tells Mel that she believes the baby should stay with its mother whether or not said mother is single. Mel takes this to mean that Deb is on her side, but Deb makes it abundantly clear that the only person’s side she’s on is that of the baby. And you know, I’ve yet to meet a mother that will sell out her son like this, but who knows/cares? JR quiets down as Deb works her magic.

Deb’s Diner Suspiciously Devoid of Dinners (except hers)
Justin complaining about the cesspool that was LA,NZ. He says the weather never changes and everyone’s a liar and superficial and that part’s rather mundane, it’s Ted’s comment that makes it worth it. They cut to a close shot of him sitting at the counter eating a piece of lemon meringue pie and he deadpans,

“Sounds exactly what you always hear about LA(NZ), the shallow, superficial assholes desperately trying to be what they’re not.” Ha! Heavy-handed and hilarious! The delivery was perfect and the boys’ faces afterwards were priceless. Well-done stupid show! Well done!

Deb offers Justin his job back effective immediately and Ted wants to know if Justin wants to kill himself before or after the coffee. Ted is on fi-yah in this scene. Too bad it’s only this good once a season.

Channel 5
Emmett goes to Channel 5 to meet with Kent Brockman and I know that we are given his name, but I swear I can’t remember it at all. So Kent is it, sorry y’all. Kent wants Emmett. But not that way, ha, had you going there for a minute didn’t I? No? Oh. Well Kent wants Emmett to be the new Channel 5 Queer Guy and help straighten out the straighties. I am really enjoying Em’s newsboy cap here. Mostly because it’s nice on him and covers his growing 5head, but also because it reminds me of Newsies, which is not the best, but my favorite Disney live action musical (not to be confused with animated features. I have lots of lists).

Kinetic Presents: BABYLON!
Michael comes in and finds Brian wandering around aimlessly, as usual. He tells Mikey that he’s sorry about his baby. Mikey thinks he means JR, but Brian was talking about Rage. Mikey says he has more important things to worry about and why did Brian leave him the urgent message?
Brian says he wants Michael to leave MeLins alone and let them work things out on their own. Michael asks what business of Brian’s is it and who the fuck does he think he is. “I’m Gus’s father, that’s who the fuck I am.” Okay then. Not to be outdone, Michael counters with, “You had to lose a ball before you knew he was alive!” And like, dude, harsh. But warranted. I actually think it was the best line of Mikey’s life. It’s so ballsy and open and Brian can’t even respond. The look on his face is one of wonderment, and a little fear, like when did he start being able to talk to me like this? Usually I’m the one who talks shit. Mike apologizes, but the damage is already done. I started to wonder about Brian’s motivations here. We assume that he’s doing this for Lindsey, but we know Brian, and we know that Mikey is Brian’s best friend. So why is he doing this. The following is my theory; come along won’t you?

I think that Brian and Michael are finally at a crossroads in their relationship. They’ve been mad at each other before, but it’s always been because of something spontaneous that Brian has done, and in effect he has done it for Mikey in a way. Like when Brian pushed him away so he would move away with Dr. Dave. He felt he had to get Michael to hate him for him to finally move on. Brian has been Timmy to Mike’s Lassie, but I think the leash is starting to loosen and Lassie’s starting to lead the way. Michael has a new set of values; he has a husband now, two kids, and a new ugly house. He is kind of putting his past behind him and moving forward which is something that Brian has been unable to do. For goodness sakes he just got his first real boyfriend and he’s 30! Brian is starting to see Michael move on without him and I think he will go to any lengths to not let that happen. Brian knows Mike should move on, but he really doesn't want him to. Because for Brian, moving on equals a passage of time, and time equals age which equals death. The problem is that Brian is messing with more than just Mike’s emotions towards him, there are children and lesbians involved and I don’t think Brian has taken that fully into account. This seems like the beginning of something foul in BriMi land and I don’t like it.

Michael goes on to explain that he doesn’t want his daughter being raised by two battling lesbians. He turn to go, but Brian stops him,

“When did you change?” He asks Michael, “When did you become this pious, sanctimonious twit?” Michael turns around and brilliantly replies,

“The point is not when did I change, the point is why haven’t you?” One thing we know is that Brian hates self-reflection so he takes this time to admonish Mikey for moving up and making pronouncements on everyone else’s life. Mikey has always been that way, but I get that Brian is trying to make a point here, and for the most part I think he’s right, just in the wrong way. Michael has always been judgmental and has always wanted to be kind of the upper crest of society, especially since it’s opposite of how he grew up. The issue is that argument has nothing to do with this one so we know that Brian is reaching. “Welcome to the other side of your perfect gay marriage Mikey, it’s called gay divorce.” Brian expects this to shake Mike up, but Mike just shakes his head,

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for my daughter, and protect my rights. I’m sorry you can’t see that.” This is also a hit to the time when Brian flopped back and forth with giving up his parental rights. I think the universal truth here is that Brian knows Michael is a better person than him, but he never wants Michael to believe it, because then the power is shifted. Thank you for coming on this journey with me, now for your regularly scheduled recap…

Ted’s Place
“How do I look?” is the song that’s playing on the screen and in Ted’s head. Somewhere Bill Gates gets a scary, brilliant idea. This is mostly physical stuff here. Ted is tugging at his face and looking at his gut and what not. There’s a knock on the door and it’s Emmett. He came over for a 5-minute visit filled with sharing news of his new on camera position, comforting Ted through his doom and gloom, and just being generally fabulous. My friends never come by for five minutes and then just leave; I wish they would sometimes. Darn my stellar hospitality! Emmett leaves, and Ted takes another look at himself. He doesn’t like what he sees, it seems he’s feeling damn unpretty so he goes to the gay pages to find a plastic surgeon. I’m not looking forward to Teddy at all this season. Not a bit.

Mikey’s Comic Shop
Melanie comes in to talk to Mikey and we know it’s going to suck and it does. Big, chocolate, salty balls. Melanie says Mike can take JR in a few years, Mikey ain’t havin it! It started nice but ended badly and why would you take two prideful people and put them in a room together to work things out? Mel even goes so far to say that Deb is on her side, and like that’s not going to come back and bite her in the butt. Mikey says they can all kiss him where the sun don’t shine and Mel warns him that not only is she an angry mother and lesbian, but she is one pissed off lawyer. Better to be pissed off than pissed on I always say.

Previous Page

Next Page