Let’s All Stop Thinking of Ourselves: QAF Recap 505 06-12-05 Page 5

and start thinking about the baby!
by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 505 Aired 06-12-05

Don’t Call It A Comeback
Ben and Michael are preparing to go to Hunter’s meeting at school and are giving some chick instructions about the baby. Justin’s there and I don’t quite understand why. Is he babysitting too, why didn’t they just hire him in the first place? How does Justin get around? I don’t think he’s ever learned how to drive, and HOLY FRICKIN CRAP that’s Daphne! DAPHNE!!! Wheeeee!!! Oh I missed you girl! Where’ve you been? Well of course this show doesn’t care about Daph, so we never find out. Daphne gushes over JR and Justin says she’s twice as big since the last time her saw her which knowing Justin was 4 weeks ago. Daphne asks if Justin ever thinks about having one and at first I thought this was going to be another case of crazy “I’ll have your baby!” Daphne that we saw back in season one when they had sex (which, awkward!), but luckily it’s just to set up Justin to talk about all of Brian’s faults. Seems as though Brian won’t even get a puppy much less a baby. Justin says that now is not the time to have a life altering conversation with Brian, “at least until his syphilis clears up”. That boy’s a fast learner! Daphne looks appropriately shocked. At first I thought it was just due to Justin’s remark, but I’m also guessing there was a mirror in front of her and she saw her hair. It’s actually pretty nice, but her ends are tragic. Looks like Dean is at it again.


“I Took Real Offense At That, I Mean, I’m On the PTA!”
PrinciPal begins the meeting by introducing Dr. Judith Davidson from the Torontosburgh AIDS product to clear up some rumors. There are several people there including Cunt and Lameass. Dr. J assures the parents that the risk of transmission from Hunter’s incident is next to nothing. I love Ben in this scene because he’s acting like he’s in church with all the head nodding and what not. But you can tell he knows he’s not in church so he can’t jump up and yell, “Testify Dr. J! Tell it, tell the truth now!” My church is so much fun. Lameass interrupts and tells her that that’s not the only thing that Hunter is exposing them to. He goes on to say that Hunter is a prostitute and a male hustler. Now, while none of that is true anymore, I’m interested to know about what’s going through the doctor’s head. I was on a panel in high school that dealt with body image. I was to speak and then have an open forum along with 2 other people. I had no idea what they were going to talk about, but I assumed we would all be on the same wavelength. I talked about being a black girl in a white world and how you think that just because you’re different that you’re not as good. Another woman talked about the same thing only in relation to body weight and shape. The third woman began talking about how some ten year old she counsels who liked to dress in women’s clothing and how he should be encouraged to do it so as to eradicate preset social determinations based on sex. Me and chick #2 were like, “uhh, we’re not with her.” It had mostly to do with the fact that the lady was full of crap and really the boy was crying out for attention, but the point of all of that is to say Dr. D must have thought she got screwed on this deal, because the prostitution thing wasn’t what she signed off on.

Anyways…
Michael tells Lameass to hold on! and Lameass is all “Can I finish? Can I, Can I finish?” and Ben’s all, “as a matter of fact you can’t!” but Lameass decides he’s going to finish anyhow and says he’s sure that he speaks for all the parents there when he says they don’t want their kids around someone with Hunter’s background. Hey, a black man! Hi Guy! Ben becomes livid and jumps up to defend Hunter, “You don’t know a damn thing about his background! How he was abused by his mother, how he had to escape from a series of foster homes, how he literally had to sleep in the streets!” Michael tags him, “or how he had to regain his health to catch up in school!” And dang, while I know our boys are trying to help, I think I’d be a little leery about all of my business being put out there. Poor Hunter, he’s like the Forrest Gump of bad childhoods, everything has happened to that kid.

Lameass’s cousin Jackass wonders if this is a Dickens’ novel. What an unadulterated prick! Okay, this war against the heterosexuals has got to stop because I refuse to believe that he would be able to not only get away with saying something like that, but that people had the nerve to laugh. This is a kid’s life you’re talking about and all you have is lame literary jokes? Whatever writers, you’re so lucky you bring it in the next few scenes because we would have to have a long overdue chat. We still might. Ben tells the parents that their children lead privileged lives, and they dare to laugh at his son’s misfortune. I love how Ben takes ownership of Hunter, and not in a creepy way, but in a very loving way. The room falls quiet and Hunter stands and tells Ben that it’s okay because he’s learned something new too. “Now I know how your kids got to be the way they are. From you.” That’s it. I love Hunter, I tried so hard not to, and I know he’ll do something to mess it up, but I love that kid! Ben sits back down and puts one hand around Hunter and one around Michael. I find it odd that these parents have no problem with Ben and Michael being gay, but they have a problem with the HIV thing. I know the two aren’t the same, but tolerance for one usually denotes tolerance for the other. Huh.


Justin Had the Baby and the Head Popped Off
Daphne is sporting some major chunking high lights and I don’t like it much, but it’s Daph and we hardly ever get to see her so I’ll let it slide this time. She can’t understand how Justin can be so casual about the whole syphilis thing. Justin said he made a big deal of it at first, but his tests came back negative so he guesses it's ’kay. He would. Leave it to Justin to only care about a problem that directly effects him. Daphne worries that next time he won’t be so lucky and Justin promises that he’ll be safe. You know, condoms are only so effective and if you’re in a polygamous relationship it’s cause for stress anyway, but to be in one with Brian “Over 1 Million Served” Kinney has got to send your blood pressure through the roof. Daphne and I wish Justin could be more than just “safe”. Justin asks her if she wishes they would settle down and be monogamous. He tells her it’s never going to happen and since the credits have just added The Reverse Psychology Fairy, we know it’s so going to happen. Evidently JR isn’t in tune with the RP Fairy and is quite upset about the thought of Justin not getting what he wants. She starts balling and Justin and Daph go to check on her.

JR is not a happy camper and I always wonder how they get babies and little kids to cry as actors. That’s got to be the cruelest job in the world. Daphne says that JR is burning up and her and Justin commence to freak right out. It’s kind of humorous only because at no time do they actually pick up the baby to try and comfort it. That’s odd because they both have younger siblings so you’d think this situation would have come up before. The camera goes crazy ER-style on us and Justin decides he should call Michael. Unfortunately, Michael’s in a meeting (duh) and it goes straight to voicemail. Justin laments about the fact it went straight to voice mail, but he never leaves a message. Way to go there in the information giving bracket, 'eh Just? Justin does the only thing he knows to do and makes one last call. I’m pretty sure it was to Mel because of the look of reluctance on his face before he did it. I’m with you there buddy, I’m with you there.

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