Let’s All Stop Thinking of Ourselves: QAF Recap 505 06-12-05 Page 6

and start thinking about the baby!
by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 505 Aired 06-12-05

You Don’t Have To Go Home…
Lameass and Cunt say goodbye to PrinciPal and head out of the gym after the meeting. PrinciPal tells MiBen and Hunter that this was supposed to be an informative meeting, and not a Kangaroo Court. PrinciPal says that he apologizes and wants MiBen to know that not everyone feels that way, and they would have said something except Lameass never told them when he was finished and to interrupt him would be just plain rude. Well, he doesn’t really say that last part, but we all know it’s true. Ben said it’s not PrinciPal’s fault, but he thanks him for saying it anyway. PrinciPal continues saying that they have a much bigger problem then they thought. He blahs for a bit and it basically amounts to Hunter going to another school. Because why try to fix what’s already broken? Hunter says that he’s not leaving, and Michael becomes a straight hater and tells Hunter that they need to at least consider what PrinciPal has to say. Man Michael, you could have saved that for the car! You don’t agree with the straights in front of them, then they think they’re right! Hunter says he doesn’t care what the other kids do, they are not going to chase him away. My goodness this kid is sooo Canadian! I think they’ve just stopped trying to convince us this is Pittsburgh in terms of casting anymore. Ben doesn’t say much, but his face, well, it’s beautiful, but it doesn’t say much either. Huh.


Close Your Eyes and Count to Five…
We begin the next scene in the local Sacred Heart where Baby is cranky, but Mommy is pissed! Linds comes running in and instantly gets all of her hair points removed. It’s wavy and curly and volumn-esque, but it’s also kind of greasy and looks a hot mess. Linds says she got there as soon as possible and Mel asks where Gus was. At first I thought Linds told her that Justin had him thus elongating his night in babysitting hell, but it seems as though a “Dusty” was able to take him. You know that’s so familiar, but I cannot remember who Dusty is. Big recap shout out to whoever can tell me that!

Who's Dusty?
	Dusty is a recurring character that has shared the love and losses of our crew!
	Dusty is the neighborhood kid that helped MeLinds through their first marital crisis.
	Dusty is a crotchety old woman with a heart of gold and a penchant for the symphony.
	The writers made Dusty up just to eff with us.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

It turns out it’s been an at least an hour since Mel has been at the hospital. Poor JR is just bawlin' here and it’s breakin' my heart. That’s why I could never work at a hospital because there are just too many people that need attention and you kind of become jaded to it. I guess the same logic would apply itself to the reason I can never work at a grocery store checkout stand, but I think you get my drift. Ben and Michael run in with Michael explaining that they just got the message.

Melanie says, “Where? In Babylon?” Michael gives her a hearty and well deserved “Fuck You!” Sticky Keys says, “gaawwd Dang!” Ben wants everyone to simmer down now and explains that they were at Hunter’s school and there was a problem. Mel agrees that there most definitely is a problem and Linds tells our boys that Mel’s been there over an hour. I’m sorry, who left Michael this message? How long was this meeting, and how long into the babysitting gig did JR get sick? It just seems odd that with Michael so riled up about this baby he wouldn’t have checked his messages sooner. What’d they do, go to a Carl’s Jr. after the meeting and then take in a show? It just seems like an absurd amount of time is all.

Melanie can’t believe they left JR alone and really she needs to calm what I like to call, the eff down. That’s why I hate that they don’t tell us how long any of the parents have JR. If MiBen wanted to go out to dinner, and they have JR for a week, then getting a babysitter shouldn’t be a problem. If it’s like 3 days then they could probably wait. The stupid thing though, is that this was an emergency involving another child. It’s not like they decided to go for a midnight stroll and decided to pick up some tail, they’re on the frickin' PTA! Michael tells Mel that JR was with Daph and Justin and Mel wants to know what they know about anything. I don’t think Melanie realizes that she’s not the first woman to have a baby EVER, and I would disagree with her, but it’s Justin and Daphne and though I love them to death, we all know that they’re both idiots. Ben tells Melanie that (though they’re idiots) they knew enough to call Mel. Melanie harshes that Ben “has no say in this so butt out! Ben puts on his best poo face and says, “Excuse ME!?” Michael’s all, “Don’t be dissin' him!” Well he doesn’t say that verbatim, but it’s so much more fun to imagine this scene in Ebonics. that way you can add in the appropriate, “girl!”, “oh no she didn’t!”, and “Yo Mama!” catch phrases when needed. I might interject that I absolutely love this scene. I’m love/hating everyone in it. It’s like a gay WASPy version of playing the dozens.

Michael tells Mel that they had another kid that needed their attention and Mel informs our boys that she don’t give two craps about their other kid, she cares about her daughter who happens to be in a lot of pain! Linds goes to find a nurse which, if Mel was so concerned why wasn’t she already haranguing the hospital staff? They ignore Linds completely and Mel continues with “all I know is the second I leave her with you, you take off!” Which is crap. This has to be about the 3rd or 4th time Michael’s had her. Mel doesn’t care about minor details though, she’s going to run this by her lawyer and they’re going to court and making sure Michael loses custody. Michael basically says, “Bring IT ON!!!” but before the death match can begin, a nurse informs they that the doctor can see the baby now. The nurse tells them that only one person can go in and Mel insists on going because she’s the mother and Michael insists on going since he’s the father. Mel says, “yeah some father!” and Michael yells, “You say that one more time!” Now I in no way advocate violence against women, but if Michael wanted to sucker punch her one good time? I think I’d be okay with that. I think I might supply the brass knuckles.

Linds grabs the baby with urgency, but still makes time to admonish the other two for their unsavory behavior. Ben looks at Mel like she’s short and the best scene EVER finally comes to an end. That was great for all the drama heads in the crowd. My adrenaline is all pumped up, I gotta find a way to burn it off!

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