Let’s All Stop Thinking of Ourselves: QAF Recap 505 06-12-05 Page 8

and start thinking about the baby!
by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 505 Aired 06-12-05

When You Can’t Get Wood, Go To Woody’s (See? I told you, too many freakin’ scenes!)
Michael gets off the phone with Mel who tells him that JR is doing fine, and that he’s an asshole. Ben’s like, “Oh no she didn’t!”, but Michael says that he added that last part. Ben tells him that he was just looking out for the baby and God here we go again. Michael says, “Baby baby baby? Baby bay! Bee baby, baby bay, looking out for myself and baby baby baby.” He’s decided that Lindsay was right and Ben thinks he’s going to give up custody, but Michael’s like, “Please!” That made me smile because it’s such a Michael thing to do. Michael says, “babay babee, custody arrangement, baby baby, more time with her mother, baby babe”, and you can tell Ben is sick of this nutty, corn filled, bull crap, but tells Michael he thinks it’s a very loving and wise decision to make.

He then rewards Michael with kisses and with the lack of sex in this ep I must say it was refreshingly hot.
They suck face until Brian comes up and asks what kind of behavior that is for a proper married couple. Michael answers that it’s improper and undignified. Ben translates this as, “mmm Fun!” It’s cute and just the right amount of creepy. Michael tells Brian that he ought to try it sometime and he might enjoy it. I know I mentioned it before, but why would they put us through the turmoil of a Michael/Brian friendship hiatus and then just be like, “hiatus over”. It’s fairly unsatisfying and kind of rude. Stupid show.

Emmett runs in and tells our boys that, “he’s here!” Emmett is jumping up and down and clapping and very excited. Ben wants to know who is here and Emmett tells him that though it’s not Eli Levy, he’s excited because he finally got Ted out of the house. Emmett really does have a old man thing doesn’t he? And why Eli Levy? That is the oddest thing ever, I think I would have believed Joel Grey before Eli Levy. Ah well. Emmett tells the boys to praise Ted and tell him he looks fabulous. Brian hilariously practices this many times until some guy comes in. Brian remarks that Ted really does look fabulous, but we learn that that’s not the real Ted. The real Ted does come in and we get this hilarious shot of our boys. Ben is especially funny in that “I know that something’s supposed to be different but…” way. Ted looks exactly the same y’all, only shinier and redder just like I said. God this show. The men cheer and shower Ted with praise. Emmett gives Brian a little nudge and Brian tells him in the gayest way that Brian can, that Ted is fabulous. Ted is pleasantly surprised by this and goes to buy drinks for everyone.

Capt. Obvious tells us that Ted basically looks the same, Brian says he never looked at Ted long enough to notice, and I completely believe that. Ben interjects that it’s something around the eyes. I love that for some reason. I think it’s because Ben is in his own little world playing a version of Where’s Waldo with Ted’s face. I love Ben about 10x’s more now. Ben says that he just looks rested. Emmett says that it doesn’t matter that Ted looks the same, all that matters is that he thinks he does. I think all that matters is that he spent all that money and ain’t a dang thang changed. He basically paid thousands of dollars for the Emperor’s new face.


And That’s the Last We Ever Saw of Her… Hopefully
Deb hears the doorbell and assumes it’s Carl, who lives there and has a key. Right. Anyhow, she runs to the door wearing many layers of lingerie and yelling through the door all of the things she’s going to do to Carl, and opens the door to find Rosietta.

Rosietta tells Deb she came by to thank her again and that she might have gotten a little carried away. She said it was the first time she was able to show another woman affection without getting slugged by Darrell. Has this happened more than once? Was it a gravy spoon last time, and then before that a spaghetti spork? Deb has on a necklace that says “sexy”. I just thought I’d mention that. Rosietta informs us that she’s leaving. And not just the diner, but Torontosburgh as well. Deb says that just because she’s not in love with Rosietta doesn’t mean she has to leave. Rosie tells Deb that it’s not about her and Deb hilariously says, “Oh.” Ha! Take THAT Deb! Once again, I must make commentary about the lack of any work ethic in this city. Which sucks because Pittsburgh is a pretty nifty place to work in. They get paid weekly and have killer labor laws. Stupid Nebraska!

Rosietta says that she has a problem with becoming fixated on things. I can relate to that, so can the guy I’m stalking. Rosietta says it’s been that way ever since the shrimp. Anyone else I would want to expand on that, but Rosie doesn’t’ have to if she doesn’t want to, but of course she wants to. It turns out that when she was young her parents used to take her to the Ramada every Sunday night. I need this to stop right now, but it never stops. She says that she loved the shrimp and no matter what she would always go back for more and more despite other recommendations. Rosietta tells Deb that if she stays there she’ll never move on. Then Rosietta goes outside and we see a flying saucer in the air with a ladder extended from its entrance. Rosietta grabs the ladder and tells Deb to think of her when she looks at the stars. Okay, that doesn’t really happen, but seriously, that would make a more plausible exit for Rosie than this crap. I’m going to need Rosietta to be able to adjust to life amongst the “regular people”. This is so dumb. I’m done with this scene.


Mel’s Mansion
Lindsay is dropping some stuff off at Mel’s and telling her that she won’t be needing it since JR won’t be at her apartment anymore. Melanie proves that there is such a thing as a dumb question by asking Linds, “You’re not doing this because you don’t want to be [JR]’s mother anymore are you?” Linds says that she’s her mother now more than ever because now she’s doing this for the baby and baby baby baby.” Mel says thank you and Linds says she never intended for it to be so ugly. Mel says that’s how divorces go and why did Linds think they would be any different? Linds says because they loved each other more. I think I’m of the firm belief that the more a couple loves each other, the messiest their breakup will be. I think it’s the reason many couples stay together, because they don’t want to have to go through all of that. MeLinds need to hurry up and get back together.
Linds pulls out a check for her half of the water heater and I think it’s interesting to note that Melanie not only got the baby again, but she also got money for the heater. She pulled herself a little Brian there. Okay Mel, we're cool again. Wait, dangit she did it again!

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