Dignity, Almost Always Dignity: QAF Recap 504 06-05-05 Page 6

by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 504 Aired 6-05-05

Mel’s Mini Mart Mansion
Melanie is making a check list of things to take over to Michael’s for JR. They’ve named the Create-A-Bear, Boo Boo Bear, which I think is a nice choice. Melanie can’t find the lotion but locates it on the kitchen counter. Linds remarks that there’s enough there for a nudist colony which is oddly humorous to me. Not necessarily that she said nudist, but that she’s familiar with their lotioning techniques? I don’t know, my mind is weird. I’m sure if you were to look inside it you would see Carl Rudolph Stargher all scared and freaked out. Melanie says you can never be too prepared and Linds says that was spoken like a true scout. Linds' knowledge of Boy Scouts and nudists colony is intriguing to me for some reason. Mel gives her a look and Linds clarifies that it was a joke. Linds won’t be on Def Comedy Jam anytime soon is all I can say about that. Melanie says that all she needs to do now is express her milk. Linds asks when Michael will pick JR up and Mel uncomfortably says the next day.

Linds tries to offer comfort, but Mel ain’t havin’ it. She says that Michael better know what he’s doing, and Linds assures her that they’ll find out. That’s not the best assurance. It’s like asking, “If there’s an earth quake will we get crushed to death?” and then hearing, “We’ll find out.” as the answer. It’s the truth, but it’s not too uplifting is all. Lindsay offers to let Gus spend the night and Mel says she doesn’t want Linds’ pity, but Linds insists she was being grateful. I like the “versus” in this ep. Imitation vs. flattery; being a realist vs. being a cynic; and now pity vs. graciousness. I like that it’s two things that are very closely related, but also so different in so many ways. It’s kind of a play on what this show is supposed to represent. How gay and straight are very similar, but there are a few key things that make the situations they deal with occur differently. Not to say that it’s gay vs. straight, but more of preconceived notions vs. stereotypes. Because they’re not the same thing but they are very close. I may expand on that one day, but it’s kind of along the same lines as my plastic surgery thoughts, boring and confusing.

Melanie still blames Lindsay about the Michael thing, which I think adds fuel to my claim that any arrangement between Linds and Mel would not include overnights because JR is Mel’s daughter, and Mel only. Lindsay gets fed up and tells Gus it’s time to go. She turns back and tells Mel that she hopes it goes well, “despite what you think.” Ooh, another classy burn. Linds should teach a class on that, maybe if she charged next time she could hire her own lawyer and leave Mikey and Brian alone.

I love how at the end of the scene Linds is trying to get Gus to leave and he’s all, “I don’t want to go!” It’s not only very realistic, but I wonder if it’s a catalyst to MeLinds getting back together? Kids are powerful that way sometimes. We’ll see.


MiBen’s Mini-Maze
I don’t understand the layout of MiBen’s house. There seem to be an infinite number of doors and why in the world did they keep that old, busted refrigerator? I swear these guy need to Kinney-ize their place and quickly. It took Hunter 2 ½ hours of waiting in the emergency room to get a band aid and it turns out he has a concussion from the impact. Michael tells him to go upstairs and relax, but Hunter is too riled up. He insists there’s nothing wrong with him except, “That thanks to Callie’s asshole father and cunt mother-“ Michael cuts him off with a prompt, “Hey!” I find this hilarious because I just got done reading an article about how cunt is the worst thing a guy can say about a woman. I think that bitch is worse than cunt. I’m very odd about cuss words because in the real world I don’t cuss at all. Not even in Bible scriptures because it makes me feel all rude and dirty. The odd thing is that I didn’t learn cunt as a swear, or bastard (actually, I had Arnold Schwarzenegger’s horrid enunciation to blame for that, but that’s an entirely different story). So I said it all the time until one day someone was like, “that’s horrible!” and I was like, “oh”. And that’s why it’s funny to me. I swear I worry myself sometimes so I can only imagine how you feel. Anyhow, Hunter says that thanks to them the whole school thinks he has AIDS. Ben is quick to point out that he has HIV, not AIDS.

Hunter says not to tell him, but to tell his school chums who really, being in the gayest city on the continent, should already have had HIV/AIDS education training, but whatever. It doesn’t matter apparently since Hunter dramatically informs them that, “I’m never going back there.” Okay then. Ben tells Hunter he has nothing to be ashamed of and watching Harris Allan’s acting I would disagree, but that’s not helping anyone right now. Ben says that he talked to Coach Director’sCousin and he was going to explain to everyone that you couldn’t get the virus by a few drops of blood in a chlorinated pool. Hey! That’s what I said! I swear I thought about that before watching this scene. Michael tells him he can take the day off tomorrow, but sooner or later he’s going to have to go back. Ben agrees and says that when he goes back he can tell them that he’s going to be the 50-meter free style champion. I really like Ben in this scene because this fight isn’t just for Hunter, but for him too. But he’s not living through Hunter in a scary Showdog Moms and Dads kind of way, but in a “look at all the things you can do that you never thought you could” kind of way. It’s a very nice choice.


Babylon: Before Hours
We cut to men in costumes flying around and I’m really wishing I had saved my Cirque du So Gay joke for this week, but I had no way of knowing people. It’s of no consequence though, I believe fully in reducing, reusing, and recycling. So we open up on Cirque deux So Gay, but it’s not as elegant as the real thing, and Brian ain’t happy about it. He explains to Justin that they’re supposed to be flying magnificently through the air like super heroes and not like, “two crash test dummies at a Hyundai factory!” Why Hyundai? Huh. Justin says it looks pretty good, but Brian says it’s not good enough. He wants Michael to see it and lose his mind, his breath, and his bladder control. Justin asks if it’s to get Michael to come running back to Babylon where he belongs. Brian goes on this long diatribe about how gay men shouldn’t sleep on tulip bumps and gay people should go to Africa and howl at the moon in the jungle. Okay, he really doesn’t say any of that, but he might as well have because it makes about as much sense as what he really does say which amounts to “Come home Mikey!” I will point out that Brian says the word, “Rassicily” which closed captioning says is “Restlessly”. I don’t know if that’s an accent popping out there, or yet another reason Gale Harold should be limited in lines. Has anyone ever seen him give an entire interview? It’s a little scary. Like you want to believe that he has the ability to form a complete sentence, he just doesn’t want to, but then, you’re not so sure if maybe he can’t? If anyone has the DVD’s watch the interviews with him, they’re surreal.

Brian yells at the rapellers a little more telling them to get it right. What I like about this is that it really has little with wanting Michael to be a club boy that wanting Michael to be his. I think Brian realizes that sexually Michael isn’t his type, but spiritually he’s his match. He’s his lobster if you will. You know that ep of Friends where Phoebe was talking about how lobsters mate for life and how Ross and Rachel were each other’s lobsters? I think that applies here. Brian can’t offer stability because Michael has that in Ben, but what Bri can offer is fun and excitement. He thinks that if he reels Mikey in with that, then he won’t be forgotten and left alone, but I don’t think Brian realizes how much all of this is actually alienating Mike. It goes back to what I said before about them having to break down and completely reevaluate their relationship. In the time of Dr. Dave this would have worked flawlessly, but Michael is a different person now. In a way at least, or maybe he’s just an extension of who he really is and that extension happens to be the stable, suburban Michael?

Rosietta’s New Lease on Life Diner
Rosietta needs some more mac and cheese and turkey meatloaf. She’s wearing the fairies shirt that Deb got her, and delivering food. A voice behind her says, “Excuse me ma’m, but aren’t you going to take my order?” Rosietta looks understandably worried and turns to see Darrell Pye, the homophobic Guy! Sorry, I’ve been trying to make a Pye joke since Rosie showed up and nothing! So I’m taking what I can get. Rosietta hands off some food to a guy that claims he didn’t order it. Rosietta says try it and he’ll like it. That’s why they don’t let peanuts on planes anymore. Darrell is there to apologize for their “little spat” and then asks Rosietta how her jaw is. I completely missed that the first time around! Her jaw? That’s not a little spat, that’s domestic abuse! God! Rosietta says that she can chew the Salisbury steak at the diner so it’s okay. I’m going to need her to report him to the cops. Or I will. I don’t care that he’s fictional, he needs to be dealt with.

Darrell tells Rosietta that it’s time to come home. She begins to say something, but he cuts her off and tells her she doesn’t need to apologize and that he forgives her. “You forgive me?” Rosietta asks. This would be more touching if Rosie didn’t look so confused. It’s like she forgot her lines, or maybe forgot the way to say them and it’s very awkward. Normally that makes the scene work, but here it seems too calculated. Darrell says he’ll forget all about what happened, but Rosietta says she doesn’t want to forget and she’s not going back home. Darrell decides to abandon the nice easygoing route and decides to go the mean abusive route. The saddest part about that is that you know it’s worked before, and in most cases it will work again. If you can make a person feel bad enough about themselves you can make them do anything. It’s very sad in life and very sad here as well. Darrell calls her pitiful and asks what she’s trying to prove by working in some “fag” diner to be independent. He wants to know if she thinks she can live without a man, is she a lezzie? Rosietta says that she is in fact a lesbian, and she’s not ashamed. See? I told you the spoon thing was homosexual, I’m glad she finally admitted to it. Darrell says she aught to be ashamed of it and that her problem is that she just hasn’t had it good in a while. He promises to fix it, but Rosietta wisely chooses differently. Darrell is a man’s man and doesn’t like women to make decisions as much as just do what he says so he grabs Rosietta by the neck and tells her that their going. The interesting part about this is that he probably doesn’t even want her. The search for power by those who will never possess it, but long for it, is often fruitless and damaging. It’s quite sad seeing it in action much less on TV. Deb slams a bat on the counter causing Darrell to turn around.

“Exactly what part of Fuck Off don’t you understand?” Darrell asks who Deb is and Deb hilariously and nonchalantly replies, “I’m the one with the baseball bat.” Darrell insists it’s between him and his wife, but Deb informs him that she’s trying to tell him something that he’s not getting through his head and maybe her friend Mr. Baseball Bat could help him out. I love the role that inanimate objects have played in this ep. From voyeur Rubber Ducky, to Boo Boo Bear, to the leather sling of lust, and now Baseball Bat, they’ve all played very important parts. I think that they are having the Best Week Ever. Darrell tries to pull Rosietta away but she resists and tells him that she changed her mind and she don’t love him no more. Deb hopes that this time the message got through and then tells Darrell to get out before her and her fag friends beat the living shit out of him. I love how all of a sudden there are like 3 leather bikers in the diner. I bet Deb hired them to come in as back up. I’m going blind I think because I cannot figure out what’s orange and yellow on Rosietta’s pants. It’s very distracting and causes my eyes to hover around her lady parts. This causes really awkward looks from my friends. Not because it’s lesbian, if it were Angelina “smokin hot” Jolie there would be no problem, it’s just because it’s Rosie. And I completely understand.

Darrell takes his leave and finally Rosietta exhales.

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