Dignity, Almost Always Dignity: QAF Recap 504 06-05-05 Page 7

by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 504 Aired 6-05-05

Homo Hater High School
Hunter is walking down the hall of his school to his locker and getting lots of looks from fellow classmates. The begininng of this scene is unintentionally hilarious because of the league of overacting black SAG members in the background. They stare at Hunter with no shame; they WILL be on camera! Callie comes into the shot, which should be their cue to calm what we call, the fuck down, but it’s to no avail. There is no force that can tame the overacting black. They are outraged by Hunter’s presence, and will express their outrage through mime!

Callie asks how Hunter is and Hunter says he’s fine. She says she’s sorry and Hunter says it’s not her fault that he expected no one to ever find out. Some guys come up, I think they’re Hunter’s swim buddies, which makes this utterly ridiculous, and tell Callie not to waste her time since he’s a fag. The other kid says he heard that Hunter got AIDS for letting old geezers fuck him up the ass for cash. Well I should hope it should be for cash, but that’s neither here nor there. Hunter thinks that Callie told and she swears she didn’t. I’m guessing she told her parents, or Ben and Michael did, but it’s still really messed up. The Chris Hobbs of the season (who, I might add, was smokin’ hot last season, even when crying like a baby. I don’t care what you say!) offers Hunter $5 to suck his cock. Shoot, I charge more than that. You’d think at a WASPy high school like this, they would have a sense of inflation. Hunter confirms that prices are indeed on the rise, especially for assholes like Chris Hobbs part deux. Chris Hobbs part deux is about to punch Hunter and Hunter dares him get his blood all over him and get AIDS. Some people took issue with this, but I think that if it was to get him out of a potentially harmful situation, it was worth it. While HIV and AIDS are two different things, the fact still remains that they are scary and very similar. While the stigma around people with AIDS isn’t exactly the same as it was 10 years ago, it hasn’t developed enough for people to truly see the difference between HIV and AIDS. My point, I think he did what he had to do. See what this has brought me to? I’m sticking up for frickin Hunter. Chris Hobbs part deux calls Hunter a faggot and walks off.

Callie asks Hunter if he’s okay and he gives her this pained _expression. It’s great because he is really acting the hell out of this scene. His eyes turn red and tear up and he kind of shakes his head and then he takes off down the hall. He’s walking and then he just can’t take it anymore and starts running down the hall. His hair is just flopping and it’s really great and heartbreaking. Goodness, he really needs to do something annoying soon because all of this Hunter love is starting to worry me. I know he won’t let me down.


Ted – Post Op
We open on a picture of a smokin hot guy and oh my goodness it’s Ted. Photoshop is doing its thang tonight! He’s got the perfect waist, that’s lean, but still a little meaty for chewing. I just revealed way too much about myself didn’t I? Oh well. They look like the ads Brian had earlier, and there he is saying, “I’m sorry, but I can’t promise you Schmidt, he’s the hottest guy in town, even I wanna fuck him.” So we all know this is a dream right? It is indeed and we see the reflection of Brian in Ted’s eye. Brian says “Ted” a couple of times and Ted tells Brian, “Sorry, you can’t have me.” It ends up being Emmett and there’s this great shot where his pupil dilates to show Em. We even get the red spots around Ted’s lids where surgery was done. If they did work on his eyelids, wouldn’t his eyes be completely covered? Other than that, it’s very nicely done.

Emmett asks Ted how he feels and Ted says he feels like he was hit by a bus and left for dead, and then trampled by an elephant. That sucks. That’s one of those things that you don’t have to experience to know is bad. Ted asks how he looks and Emmett replies a tad puffy, but the doctor said to give it a few days and he’ll be gorgeous. I completely believe that the doctor said that verbatim. I don’t know why, but it seems like something Ted’s doctor would do. Ted thanks Em for seeing him through this and Em says, “Please, when I pull my Joan Rivers, you’ll be right there with me.” Joan Rivers looks more and more like Norma Desmond every day. Emmett tells Teddy to lie there and rest, and to remember no peeking. Why do they even put mirrors in those rooms? Emmett chooses this time to take his leave and Ted sees the opportunity to, of course, do a little peeping.

We cut from bandage eye view to regular view and see Ted struggle to get up to go peek at himself. He’s making some pretty grody painful noises, and I thought he had his butt and stomach done too? Why don’t they have more nurses around this place? Ted sees himself and proceeds to freak the heck out. I hate that part because it was done primarily for comic relief. First of all, all he saw were bandages, how did he not expect that? Secondly, hasn’t he ever watched a medical show ever? At least MTV’s I Want a Famous Face. My mom had breast cancer in both breasts (cancer sucks) and had to have them both removed. The doctors completely botched the reconstruction and then her insurance changed at the end of the year and no longer covered the procedure. It’s really sucky, but the point is that she’s been watching shows to find a doctor that will be able to help her. Basically, I need Ted to do some research. Don’t they have manuals of what to expect? This scene is just very stupid to me. Oh well, it was short so I can’t complain too much.

Woody’s, Yeah it’s Probably Woody’s
Rosietta and Deb are at Woody having drinks. At least I think it’s Woody’s. There seems to be exactly 4 gay bars in Torontosburgh. The lez bar from way back in season 1, Woody’s, the newly discovered Poppers, and Babylon. So by process of elimination, I’m guessing this is Woody’s. Rosietta asks Deb if Deb saw Darrell’s face. Deb says he was pissed as hell, which is what she’s going to be if she has another shot. So of course Rosietta orders another shot. Rosietta really knows how to reel them in huh? Icing spoons and liquor, I can see it being a winning combination. An interesting story about “pissed”. I was watching one of the two best gay films ever Beautiful Thing (the other is Lillies, and is highly recommended) and they kept saying things like, “I’m pissed” or “I’m going to get pissed.” and they were saying it at times they weren’t particularly upset about anything. I was doing a search for a clip of the kissing scene in the forest and I came upon a guide of British slang for American viewers of Beautiful Thing, and I found out that pissed meant drunk. So I learned, and I was entertained. That should be the goal of every other movie.

Deb tells Rosietta that she’s proud of her and Rosietta says she could have never done it without Deb and her big bat. Deb guesses the bat was bigger than Darrell’s uh “bat”, and Rosie says “you better believe it!”, and I should hope so! That would take a lot of yoga to house Mr. Baseball Bat is all I’m saying. Deb tells Rosietta that she never has to be afraid of him anymore. Rosietta says she doesn’t know how she can repay Deb. She tells Deb, “first you give me a new life, and then you save it.” That’s very sweet and it warmed the cockles of my heart. Deb says that Rosietta owes her nothing, but there is something she owes herself, and that’s happiness. Deb says she deserves it, and Rosietta says she wants someone to share it with.

Deb decides it’s time to take her leave and Rosietta agrees saying she has the early shift at the diner. Deb tells her that when she’s opening the diner to think of Deb in bed. I don’t quite get the point of that statement except to have Rosietta say “I will” in a weird stalkerish manner. They hug and Rosietta gives Deb a big kiss right on the lips. You know, all this time I knew that Rosie was gay, but for some reason the thought of her kissing another woman never appeared to me. Strange. Deb looks perplexed and Rosietta says, “I love you.” Deb is funnily drunk and kind of shakes it off. “You too, bye!” She stumbles off her stool and leaves Rosietta to bask in her newfound sexuality. Man, Rosietta really knows how to pick them doesn’t she? First a housewife with three kids, and now a woman with a live in boyfriend, methinks Rosietta likes the life of danger.

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