A Beautiful Thing: QAF Recap 509 07-10-05 Page 8

by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 509 Aired 07-10-05

I’d Like Justin to Shut Up…(and) To Go

Jen and Justin are at the diner and Jen is telling Justin that she doesn’t care if he’s Picasso, it doesn’t give him license to be rude. Justin insists that he wasn’t being rude, and that he only asked a few questions. “Like if he’s fucking me!? What kind of question is that?” Jen and I ask. A waitress comes by to refresh their coffee and Justin says he was just looking out for Jen’s best interests. Jen thinks that maybe Justin was feeling threatened because there’s another man in her life. Justin insists that he’s not threatened, and Jen informs him that Tucker is the first man in Jen’s life since her and Craig split up which dude, long time. Poor Jen, she couldn’t get no lovin’ for four years! Ahh well, I hope Tuck really was everlasting (wakka wakka). Heh, Jen should use that for her stand up routine. “Don’t you think I’m entitled to be with someone?” Jen asks, and Justin agrees, but says it should be with someone appropriate and her own age. Jen and I laugh (and I throw something at the TV) and say that’s pretty funny coming from Justin.

Justin says that he was 17 when he and Brian first got together and I fail to see how statutory rape justifies his claim. He goes on to say that his mother is, well, a lot older. Jen (who for some reason isn’t jumping on Justin and beating the crap out of him) explains that at first she had problems with Brian, but once she saw he made Justin happy, she went along with it. Well actually Jen, it’s not that you need to explain yourself, but since you are at least tell the whole truth. That Justin was a sniveling brat who would disown you to be with Brian and since you didn’t want to lose him you gave in. This scene is so annoying because I know it’s supposed to be cute that Justin doesn’t want to give up his mommy, but it’s not since it’s so hypocritical. She tells him that now it’s his turn to be supportive of him. Not quite the beat down I was looking for, but it will do for now. Can you throw a lemon bar in with my order?

Before You Take Another Swallow!

A man is on his soapbox preaching about how gays are taking over this Christian land. Hey buddy, this land is your land, and this land is my land! Learn to share! Michael wonders when this became a Christian country and I wonder when it wasn’t, maybe the ‘70s got him confused? Michael is really upset and wants to punch Ben out, but Ben says that’s not how they get their message across! Mikey gives him a “I HATE you!” pout and they walk on down the road.

Ted is Dumb

Ted and Bernstein are getting hot and heavy on the couch and you know what? This is so dumb. I don’t want to disappoint, but this is dumb. They had a great date and yadda yadda yadda Ted’s not Jewish. Is that enough recapping for you? No!? Fine! Uhh let’s see, Adam asks Ted if he goes all the way on the first date and Ted is pretty much naked while the question is being asked and Adam is about to go down on him and notices that Ted’s uncut and therefore not Jewish. Teddy really wants to get laid and says that he’ll convert, but Adam ain’t having it. Adam leaves and Ted sits there looking dejected, God.

Be a Team Player! For Our Team, Not Theirs…

Emmett is reading an article in the gay newspaper to Deb that has many flattering things to say about Drew. It concludes by saying he’s scored a touchdown of personal courage and honesty. Debbie says, “YES!” all excited like. It’s pretty cute, especially since it’s Debbie. While Emmett is reading his article we hear a car pull up and a door slam and then after Deb yells there’s a lot of commotion outside. Carl opens the door and pulls Drew in. Drew apologizes and Deb says it’s fine until she notices the reporters are trampling her rose bushes. Emmett tries to show Drew the article telling him that he’ll be so proud, but Drew declines and tells Emmett he’s been suspended from the team.

Deb is outraged and demands to know why Drew was suspended, “You didn’t rape anybody, you weren’t driving drunk, you didn’t make any illegal bets-“ Carl cuts her off and ushers in words of common sense, “Deb, we know what he did.” Drew says that his coach said it would be good for him in case his teammates tried to injure him. Emmett says that he thought they were supposed to look out for each other, Drew says so did he.

Okay, y’all know me. Let’s take a few steps back and think about what’s happened so far. Now yes, Drew’s coach and team look like bigots, but considering the way that Drew outed himself, I don’t completely blame them for their reaction. First off, as soon as the allegations came out, and Drew decided to go gay, he should have talked to his coach, and then his teammates. I refuse to believe that none of his teammates have called to offer support/rejection or anything at all. This may not have had positive results, but at least they would have known and wouldn’t have to find out by watching the channel 5 news. It’s just common courtesy I think. Now you can hem and haw all you want about, “He should be able to live how he wants!”, and “His business is none of theirs!” and all of that is true and all very well and good, but it’s not realistic. Secondly, I wouldn’t have suspended Drew, but I would have a long talk with the team and let them know that if any harm were to come to Drew, they would be the ones suspended. Then stick to your word and do it. It’s ridiculous that you can’t expect grown men to behave like adults. Whatever your views on homosexuality are, they aren’t going to change because a friend is gay, and the friend really isn’t going to change either. If you’re that freaked out about showering with him then wear a thong and shut up. People confuse me sometimes, if he were a murderer, or a molester (the bad kind), I would have a problem being around him, but otherwise I think I would be okay. If I had to hang out with lesbians I might be a little put off, but I would tell myself that if they didn’t want me then, they don’t want me now (though God only knows why they wouldn’t!) /end rant.

Thanks for listening, moving on.

Fight the POWER!

Ben is coming up the stairs to their house and sees Mikey putting up a new light on the porch. He tells Michael he’s being awfully diligent and Michael says it’s their home and he wants everything to be perfect. “You’re in it, it’s already perfect to me.” Ben says. My, someone is looking for some booty tonight aren’t they? Well you know what I say to that, Get It BEN!” Michael tells Ben that was the most cloyingly sentimental remark he has ever heard and he would throw up if he didn’t love every word of it. I agree. Ben gives Mikey teh sex eyes and tells him to come in cause baby it’s cold outside. Michael says he has one more thing he has to do and he gets the Stop Prop 14 scene and puts it in the yard. We end with MiBen going into the house with some lovely music playing that takes us into our last scene.

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