Life of Brian: QAF Recap 507 06-26-05 Page 7

A Lesson In Standards
by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 507 Aired 06-26-05


Supposing Hunter’s Toeses For Roses, and Ending up With a Nosefull of Feet
We open on pouty, glasses Ben who’s holding a book, but not reading it. Le sigh my dearest, Le sigh. Michael comes downstairs looking fabulous in a red shirt. I think it’s because of his skin complexion, but that boy can pull off red. He tries to cheer Ben up with a little banter.
“Reading the DVD titles? I do that sometimes to make sure I don’t need glasses. Singing in the Rain, Some Like it Hot, Dirty Harry. How’d that get there? Oh yeah, I remember, I thought it was a porn film.” That’s precious, but Ben looks about two seconds from bursting into "The Best Things In Life Are Free" from the Good News soundtrack, I mean homeboy has me watering up, again. Hal mistakenly says that he’s not funny (shut up! I love Hal!), and asks Ben to go to the Bed, Bath and Beyond (or as CC says, Bed, Bath, and Begone, heh) with him, “I’m buying some throw pillows for the bed. Queer Guy says it’s a stylish and inexpensive way to accentuate the color scheme and enliven a room (for all the sexy gay sex you’ll be having as demonstrated on the 9 o’clock news) Of course, we don’t need pillows to enliven a room do we?” Yeah Mikey babe, I feel your pain, but now is not the time for sexin’.

Ben is still looking at the DVD’s and reminiscing of how he used to watch them with Hunter, “He’d never even heard of Singing in the Rain. He loved it, he must have seen it 95 times.” Michael nods and deadpans, “And that was even after he wasn’t gay!” Ha HA! That cracked all of us up, I wonder if Hal suggested that line because it’s such a Hal thing to day. I loved that so much that I rewound it many times and was forced to give up control of the remote. Ben isn’t as amused and finally Michael pleads with Ben to come with him. Michael is being a very good husband I think. He’s staying very true to character, and trying to help Ben as well as he knows how. Ben says that everything in the house reminds him of Hunter. Michael says that’s why it’s a good idea to get out of the house and take our minds off of things for a while. And I agree, because the sadness and sulking will be there when you get back.

Michael tells Ben about a meeting at the LGBT center about proposition 14. Ben doesn’t see the point, but Michael says they should go, “They’re going to need some volunteers. Who better than someone as intelligent, well-informed, authoritative, and not to mention hott as you?” I agree with all of those but one, have fun guessing which one. Ben says the last thing he wants to think about right now is another gay cause. I know that seemed completely insensitive and selfish, but I’m feeling him there. Well, not necessarily in this situation, because that was a more an effect of Hunter not helping himself, but I feel the overall sentiment. Sometimes you just want to take a break from saving the world. It’s a job with sucky benefits and the only rewards you get is that people treat you the way they should have been treating you all along. Michael insists that it’s not just another gay cause, “When we got married, you said this was just the beginning. Well now it looks like it’s the beginning of the end!” Ben starts to get up but Michael grabs him, “Listen, I’m just as upset about this as you are. Everytime I hear the door open, or the phone ring, I think it’s him. I just thought it would make us both feel better if we got involved in something.” Ben says he doesn’t want to get involved and he couldn’t give a shit about prop 14, 15, or 16, “all I care about is where is he, is he alright, am I ever going to see him again? So let someone else sit on that goddamned committee, I’ve given enough.” And while I agree with him on some levels, since he’s doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to find out anything about Hunter, I might have to give my first ever SHUT UP BEN! Since he’s feeling bad we’ll wait and see, but it’s looming there Pal, be careful!

SK: Ben is just sexy as crap!

Nina: Girl! He looks like he would just throw your ass around and do all kinds of shit to it!

Jerrod: Do you need a break?

Nina: No (fans herself) I’m okay.

SK: So I understand Ben being upset over Hunter, but for the sensitive Buddhist type he sure picks his hissyfits you know?

Jerrod: Yeah, he’s always going off about some shit. I hate that he’s alienating everyone and I also hate that they’re trying to make Hunter’s shit smell like roses, like he was the perfect child.

SK: Definitely, because that was a bad butt little boy, but he won me over at the end. They always do this on this show, as soon as I love someone they get rid of him.

Nina: Like who?

SK: Vic, Hunter, and Chris Hobbs.

Jerrod: Chris Hobbs?

SK: Yeah, after Michael/Brian I ship Hobbs/Taylor, I have a thing for crazy white boys. I used to be in love with Scott from Higher Learning, and then Edward Norton in American History X. It’s like taming the ultimate bad boy. Nina nods in agreement, and Jerrod just shakes his head.

Jerrod: That’s the sickest, sexiest shit I think I’ve ever heard.



You’re Gonna Make It Afterall!
“I can’t believe he let you walk out like that, and didn’t even try to stop you?” Justin, Deb, and Emmett are handing out info flyers on Liberty Avenue to the passersby. Justin has leaked the news of his breakup to a displeased Deb. “I didn’t expect him to.” Emmett tells the Justin that if he and Brian would have bothered to ever finish a Jackie Collins novel, they would know that in the end the couple always ends up together and living happily ever after. Justin says that’s why it’s fiction. I haven’t been Justin’s biggest fan over the seasons, but I hate that Brian has made him so bitter and disillusioned to the workings of the world. It’s an odd color on him. It’s funny because this whole scene set up is them passing out flyers about Prop 14, but they don’t seem to interested in the task at hand. If I were in the middle of JustBri drama I don’t think I’d be interested in much else either.

They try to give a flyer to one walker who tells them that they need Jesus in their lives. Well okay then. Emmett says, “Yeah, and you need a good blow job that is if you can find someone to give you one, and don’t come looking at me!” Said that man that sucked Schickle’s pickle and slept with an engaged quarterback. It’s an odd comment because we know Emmett has no standards. It’s one of the things I love about him.

Deb starts in with, “That no good son of a bitch!”, but it turns out she cares more about JustBri too, “how could he do that to you after all these years?” Despite their separation Justin stands by his man, “He didn’t do anything, I wanted one thing and he wanted another” and blah blah blah, let’s move on. Emmett asks where Justin’s going to go and Justin says he’ll think of something. Debbie extends an invitation to Debbie’s boarding house,

Jerrod: He could probably live here. (Nina cracks up at this and I give Jerrod an evil look. Our situations with live-ins has never been good except when Nina stayed with us. And even then we got in our first friendship fight about personal stuff and space. Anyhow, my roster of live-ins include what we thought were normal God fearing people that ended up being: a nudist exhibitionist, a drag queen hustler, a crack head thief (that pawned my mom’s rings, felt guilty about it so he gave her the pawn tickets, but no money to get the rings out), a gay drag queen psycho nut job that ran up over $300 of SATELLITE PORN, ran up my mom’s credit card, put us on mailing lists for every gay porn catalogue (which wouldn’t be so bad, but that’s not the point right now), and made it so I had to use the insurance money I had to fix Bertha (my old Ford Aerostar van may she RIP) to fix his mess, a crazy girl that I thought everyone liked but ended up everyone hated for reasons that I found out later but mostly amounted to vast amounts of talking during porn (which was actually porn gay psycho taped which we thought was Bridget Jone’s Diary) and not good snarking, but like, “You guys we shouldn’t be watching this, OMG!”, and Angel Jennings who was so not. But I digress.)

Deb says that Emmett could share his room, but I’m guessing Emmett has other plans for his room than sharing it with a 21 year old. Like sharing it with a 21 year old. Justin has it all figured out though, he’s going to stay with Ben and Michael until he gets a place of his own. Deb says he’s too young and Justin remarks that he’s no longer a boy (not yet a man). Emmett said he never was a kid and Justin agrees saying it’s time he made it on his own. Emmett says, “Like Mary!” and it’s such an obvious sequence that they taped separately that it’s a little jarring. Very off. Justin says that even though he’ll miss Brian that this will be good for him, “Right?” Emmett says right, and Deb says, “Damn right” a little less enthusiastically. They end by finally getting back to work, “Vote no on 14!”

SK: Poor Justin, you know he’s going to have to explain this one forever!

Jerrod: I wish he would just get ghetto with it, like “I’m not with him because his ball sac smelled like the mother fuckin’ zoo! (For some reason this cracks everyone up for days. Good times)


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