Life of Brian: QAF Recap 507 06-26-05 Page 10

A Lesson In Standards
by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 507 Aired 06-26-05


I’m Livin’ and Learning, but What Does That Have to Do With Me?
Ben is sitting crosslegged in a chair in front of his class. I love a man that can pull off crossed legs!

Jerrod: So you love a man in crossed legs and eyeliner?

Nina: Sticky are you gay? Is that what you’re trying to tell us?

SK: It’s weird because I can’t stand drag queens.

Jerrod: What woman would you go gay for?

SK: Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.

“In a recent Hollywood movie.. about the Trojan War (coughTroycough) there was a very small but significant alteration from the legend as accounted by Homer in the Iliad. Achilles didn’t go to war because the Greeks killed Petrocolus (which is pronounced a little oddly, like he wasn’t sure if it was right) his cousin, he went to battle because they killed Petrocolus his lover.” You know the first time I ever learned the true story of Petrocolus and Achilles was through claymation in a Boy’s Life, or Boys' Shorts series. Changed my life and gave me what I think was my very first shipping couple. Shut up, it was cute at the time. No really, it was. Some bratty Juliette Lewis wannabe chick says, “Excuse me Professor, (like) but what difference does it make if (like) they change some old legend like, huh, what else is new?” Ben expands and says, “Because that old legend was re-written, to omit a very important truth, that the homophobia which infects our culture didn’t always exist.” Well it existed here, just not in certain other parts of Europe, but then again neither did morals, lack of diseases, and not having slavery, but I get where he’s going. “There were once great and powerful cultures in which the emotional and sexual love between two men was accepted, even among warriors.” I would love Ben’s class, but apparently he has a class full of HATERS. Asian LisaLoebGlasses Hater says, “yeah good for them, but what about us?” Ben gives this priceless, WTF? Expression. Blonde Anglo-Saxon Hater says, “While we’re talking about the Trojan War they’re trying to take our rights away!” I love how only gay people take the gay studies class taught by a gay professor.

Secondly, where is this taking place? I’m convinced that Ben teaches class at the Pittsboronto Learning Annex off of 74th because there’s no way a real professor would allow this crap in their class. I understand them wanting to vent, but that’s what the student union is for, you discuss that after class! Ben of course is more lenient, “I understand your concern, but right now, we’re here to discuss gay imagery in mythology and history.” You know the other reason I believe that Ben is just a sub or TA or something is that he has no idea how to run a class. There are so many parallels you could draw between the Grecian imagery system being sanitized and proposition 14, but Ben isn’t even trying to bring the two together! Whatever unemployed Ben! Whatever Hater Students!

Asian LLG Hater says, “If proposition 14 passes, pretty soon we’ll be history.” Sigh. They compound the offense by talking amongst themselves about the meeting to be held at the center that night. I know this was supposed to be Ben’s turning point scene, but I think I would have enjoyed it if Ben ended up working it into his lesson and then coming to a realization through that. It at least would have been more realistic.

Tara: After the War… Way After
Justin and Jennifer are in the loft that time and decency forgot. Even Jen notices it’s grossness, “What a dump!” Indeed, this place is fuglier than Brandon. It has potential, but would cost way too much in real life and you know it’s crawling with vermin. Justin laughs, but Jen fails to see what’s so funny. Justin gives a little flip of his scarf, “You do a fabulous Bette Davis, or is it Elizabeth Taylor doing a fabulous Bette Davis?” I don’t really care, but I do notive that this is a show of a thousand jackets. Everyone in this show has about five or six different jackets and that’s per season. No wonder they all need crazy tight walk-in closets! Jen insists she’s not doing a fabulous anybody, “all I know is this is a disgusting place, and you’re not living here.” Of course Justin loves it. Jen asks if he’s crazy and Justin says if he is then it’s Jen and Craig’s fault. Jen says the loft isn’t good enough, “It’s tiny, it smells like something you’d never want to meet died here, and you have to share a bathroom down the hall with god knows who? Crack heads? Not to mention you can’t go out into the street after dark!” I love how to accentuate the squalid surrounding, the props crew randomly placed an oscillating fan in the middle of the room.

SK: I’m sorry, they have a communal toilet?

Jerrod: Aw hells naw.

Nina: It’s just like at the university.

SK: I’m thinking those bathrooms are just a tad below code.

Justin is quick to point out all the “good things about the apartment, “On the other hand I can afford it. It’s got great light, and best of all it’s my own place.” Yeah, I’m going to need him to get better standards. Jennifer laments ever giving birth to an artist and Justin says Van Goh’s mother was a washer woman. They have a bit of really dumb debate about this, but it essentially leads to Jen’s real lament which is that Justin had to move out of Brian’s awesome loft. Justin reminds Jen that she wasn’t too thrilled when Justin moved into those conditions. I think that was mostly due to the fact it was her 18 year old son moving in with his 31 year old boyfriend, but I could be splitting hairs. Jen agrees but adds, “I just wish that- I can’t believe I’m actually saying this- that you and he could have managed to somehow work things out.” Right. I’m going to give Jen a big whatever because if Justin had found another richster Jen would be picking out the color scheme for her visiting room. Justin wishes they were together too, and Jen says, “It’s not as if he repeatedly and sustematically lied to you or abused you or mistreated you like your father did to me.” That is the most hateful thing I’ve ever heard. Because Jen and Craig didn’t have too many problems until Justin’s whole thing happened, and Brian wasn’t all that great to Justin. In my comments for this week’s recaplet, Mike posted a quote from an article where Randy said he would never be Justin in real life because Justin’s someone who (among other things) has been “systematically and repeatedly betrayed, lied to, condescended to, and humilated by his boyfriend for four years?” and before all of the Brian lovers start in with the “but Brian never lied!” we must remember that while Brian never “lied” to Justin he has repeatedly manipulated him to get what he wants. In my book that’s almost as bad except it makes both parties look like jerks.

Justin says that of course Brian never did those things and I took that to be a slight dig at Jennifer, kind of like,”I never would let him do that!”, but I think way too far into these things. “He saved my life, he took care of me he gave me everything, it’s just that we each wanted different things.” I think it’s also important to mention that everything Justin has mentioned has been material, and what Justin wanted was more emotional. Jen finds some seasoned salt on the floor and decides to use that to rub into Justin’s wound, “and neither of you is willing to change?” Whatever Jennifer, because really Justin is in the right here. Why is love a negotiable aspect in a relationship? Justin agrees with me, “That’s not love, that’s sacrifice.” And I’m with him to a point, but love is sacrifice. The thing is that you both have to give so you can both take and remain equal. Will those crazy kids ever learn?


MeLinds, Together Again, but Still Separately
“He fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow.” Linds says of Gus. Mel says he’s happy to be back in his own room in his own bed. Mel looks great and is on the couch going through various journals and magazines. She says she’s trying to catch up on the world she missed while she wasn’t working or looking after the kids. Linds tells Mel that she can say I told you so if she wants, but Mel promises those words will never cross her lips. “Why not?” LInds asks, “You were right, no matter what you know up here (points to her head), you hope against hope in here (puts fist on heart) that your parents will at least love you unconditionally.” Mel nods knowingly and promises that they’ll try to do better by their kids.
glad to be back in his own room, in his own bed

Linds goes to put on her coat and Mel asks where she’s going. Linds says she’s going to find a hotel for the night, but Mel, in a very nice gesture, tells her to take off her coat because she’s staying there. Linds asks if that’s a good idea, but Mel doesn’t care and says that Linds is staying there anyway. “I’ll make us some tea and grilled cheese and we’ll figure something out.”

SK: What’s that smell?

Jerrod: Could it be RECONCILLIATION!? (Heh, he knows me so well.)

Of course the cheese sandwich and tea thing killed me and my Kings of Comedy freaks. See it, when you get to that part you will die of laughter!


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