It's The Oldest, Establish, Permanent, Floating... QAF Recap 506 06-19-05 Page 6

crap game in Torontosburgh
by StickyKeys Queer As Folk Episode 506 Aired 6-19-05

Guess Who’s Back?
This scene was not only boring, but it was insulting as well. Basically, Debbie tells Carl that she figured out what was wrong with her. Carl adorably freaks out and tells her that whatever it is he’ll stand by her side and he’s in it for the long haul. He grabs her hand, and she tells him that it’s not a physical thing. He heaves a sigh of relief and asks Deb what it is. Carl has the craziest accent here, he sounds like a Newsie. Deb tells Carl she’s bored and wants to go back to work, she can’t stand sitting around, eating ice cream, and buying a bunch of stuff she doesn’t need. Carl says that that’s how a woman of leisure should live, but manages to not look like a sexist pig by quickly adding that he doesn’t want her to have to work hard anymore. Deb says to her it didn’t seem like work and Carl mentions her dislike of long hours and sore feet. Deb tells him that to her, “It was a dance, and I was the prima ballerina.” Carl hastens to clarify that The Liberty Diner isn’t exactly the Ballet of Torontosburgh, and I agree, but then again what is?

Carl says he was trying to make it easier on her, but whatever makes her happy is fine with him. Deb smiles and gets up and says, “Good, because my shift started 5 minutes ago!” She takes off her coat to reveal her work uniform underneath. Her and Carl laugh and laugh.

I would have dropped kicked her.


Ted’s Red Romper Room
Ted’s bedroom is intense. He’s plowing Troy of Torontosburgh and looking like he’s having a conniption fit in the process. I’ve noticed that TV people always cum at the same time which I am told is so not how it really is. Oh well, Ted cums and just strands Troy on the bed as he goes to the bathroom to throw away the condom. He has the cutest little booty in the world! We see Ted has kept a little of his kink from the S&M incident and has tied Troy to the headboard. Nice.
“That was hott.” Troy says as he catches his breath. “Think so?” Ted asks. Troy says he’s been there before. Again, Ted is a little worried until Troy says that he’s been in that building before. “I fucked some poor loser… one of my pity fucks.” And why? For the love of God, why would you say that to someone who lives in the same building. And why can he remember all of these things about his pity fuck, but not who it was? Sigh. Ted is noticeably uncomfortable during all of this, but I notice that his pecs are starting to become really defined. Ted starts to say his piece to Troy, but Troy cuts in, “You know, when we first hooked up at the gym… I wasn’t so sure.” Ted wonders if he wasn’t Troy’s type, and Troy goes on to say he wasn’t sure Ted would be so hot. “but man are you ever… look, I’m still hard… you up for another round?” Ted wants to say something to Troy, but again Troy cuts him off, “you wanna roll me over and fuck me again?” but that’s not quite it, what is it Ted? We’re all listening.

“What I wanna, uh what I want to say to you is, uhh, well… roll over.” Very nicely said old boy, I think given the situation I would have emitted the same response. Troy is also pleased and channels the Kool-Aid man saying, “Oh, Yeah!” He flips over on his stomach and clenches his banging ass a couple of times in anticipation. Heh, that’s cute.


Sloppy Joe’s, and Even Sloppier Good-byes
Ben is chopping veggies while Michael is browning meat for what looks to be taco night at the Novotny-Bruckner household. Ben has told Michael about Hunter’s lack of desire to return to school. He tells Michael that they can’t force him to go, but Michael says of course they can since they’re his parents. Ben says that you can leave school at 16, and if they pressure him they’ll only push him away more. You know, the more I think about it, the more this Ben seems odd to me. Where’s the Ben that used to yell at Hunter every other day about far less? The, “James Hunter Montgomery Novotny-Bruckner you will do as I say!” and “over my dead body!” Ben? That’s the Ben I loved (in regards to Hunter). Michael says he’s got to finish school so he can go to college, “and become a doctor and a lawyer, and president of the United States!” or he could become an unemployed professor or gay comic book store owner/graphic pornographer, really they’re all good choices.

Ben offers up some sexy kisses, and man, I need a husband like that. I wouldn’t mind being told to shut up if it were done with kisses. Michael asks, “what was that for?” Ben says it’s because Michael’s, “the eternal optimist, that’s why I love you. Now let’s just give him some time and some space and hopefully he’ll come to the right decision.” Nope, sorry Ben looks like you’re wrong because Hunter’s on the stairs with his messenger bag in tow.

It turns out the men are having Manwiches. MiBen are setting the table with all sorts plates and dishes and this confuses me because my mom used to make me get my own sloppy joe’s out of the pan. And darned if there were any side dishes except chips or fries. Those gays can make any meal presentable! Ben asks Hunter if he’s going somewhere and Hunter says, “Yeah.” Ben tells him to eat first and not to be out too late. Hunter says he means he’s leaving, for good. MiBen want to know what Hunter means so he simply says, “I can’t stay here, okay?” Michael is not having it. I like how he’s kind of freaked out, but wants to hold onto control of the situation. “No, it’s not okay, uh, now put your things away and sit down and eat, and afterwards we’ll discuss this.” Hunter says that they’ve already discussed this and that there’s nothing left to say, and that’s true except they haven’t discussed this, and there’s a whole lot more to say. So I guess, it’s not really the truth, as much as it is… a lie. Yeah.

Michael says that Hunter’s not going anywhere and that’s final! Ben tries to calm Michael, but Michael will not be silenced, “He can’t just leave, we’re his parents for chrissakes! Whether he likes it or not we’re his legal guardians, what we say goes!” Ben kind of ignores Michael and tells Hunter that nothing will be solved by running away. Hunter gets all Holden Caufield on our collective asses, and informs why he’s leaving, “I don’t belong here! I don’t belong in this house, I don’t belong at that school, and I don’t belong with YOU!” Ben says of course Hunter belongs with them, but Hunter insists that he’ll only go on causing them problems, “embarrassing you.” You know this is the perfect example of how people will create any excuses to get out of a situation. Really Ben and Michael couldn’t be more proud of Hunter, but Hunter is still insecure with his relatively new illness, and then add on the pressure of just being 17, and you’ve got a fireball of angst there. I feel for the kid, but I also know that he’s in a really positive situation if he’d just take time to look at it that way. Ben says that Hunter doesn’t embarrass them, and they’re proud of him. Michael says that this is not the debate team, “there’s no argument here except do you want applesauce or peaches.” I am on the side of peaches, but I know many who would fight to the death over applesauce, it’s a serious thing people, wars have been started over less.

Hunter walks off, but Michael runs and grabs him, “I don’t care if I have to lock you in your fucking room!”, and whoa there Mikey! Actually I would have probably done a lot worse. I love Michael’s frustration here, and I hate Ben’s hateration. Ben gives Michael this look of disgust which he seriously needs to reel back. For goodness sakes this is your SON! Ben asks where Hunter will go and Hunter says he doesn’t know. He asks if Hunter has money and Hunter says just the money MiBen gave him for his birthday. Michael is beyond aggravated, “No plan, no money, perfect! How do you plan to support yourself?” Hunter says he’ll find a way and Michael bets he will. That has got to be the scariest part of this, knowing that the only legitimate skills Hunter has is as a dealer and prostitute, and debater. Hunter tries to leave again, but Ben calls him back. You know, I’m not sure if it’s written to be this way, but any real kid that kept stopping like that is just asking to be stalled. I don’t think Hunter really wants to leave, I think he wants to know that he can stay regardless of any circumstances. That he has a home. I think Ben is on the side of treating him like an adult when all Hunter wants is to be a kid. Does that make sense?

Ben pulls out his wallet and gives Hunter some money. He tells him to call if he needs more. Michael wants to know what Ben’s doing, but Ben is ignoring him. Hunter gives back his key and there’s no way I would have let that happen. He would have had an imprint of the key in his left butt cheek before I let him give it back. He turns to leave, but Michael caves and calls him back one last time. He gives him some money and tells him to put it in his shoe where it will be safe. You know through all of this, I wonder why they didn’t offer to get him a hotel for the evening, or fix him a to-go plate for the road. Something to stall. Besides, the appetites are killed so that food’s just going to waste anyway. Hunter finally leaves and Michael’s about to cry. Don’t hold back baby, I’m already there.

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